COLD BLOODED.
rick james died today. one of my favorite duets of all time, fire and desire, can no longer sound as sweet now.
i'm a baaaad man. things are spiraling. chaos is right outside my door. ARGH
probably shouldnt have gotten drunk last night at the club.
Friday, August 06, 2004
Thursday, August 05, 2004
Jeezus.
It's been what, two weeks since I got back from San Diego? Consider this the first time I've actually gotten on track with ANYTHING since I got back. The trip was too much for words, and I definitely wish I were still in San Diego...at least for the rest of the summer or something.
However, returning to Sacramento life has gotten much more important lately, as a couple of major events are coming together in which I have a part to play.
For one, a major business venture/partnership has formed between my group and Terence's group. Essentially, Terence wants to help us get our names out in the art world. I'm still around 10% unsure about how everything will work out, but I'm game to actually get the ball rolling here.
Secondly, Alex's art show starts next saturday, at the Red Square Cafe off of Alhambra (in midtown). Although I fail to keep in touch with him and work on the details of the inaugural night of the art show, I'm sure we'll work it out and put together a great event. So far, I'm told at least two acts will perform at the cafe for the night of the art show, and we've got a dozen and one other things to go over to make the show more than a flop.
Anyway.
The summer blues has been setting in, and I'm sleeping in more often, and doing hardly anything productive now that I'm out of a job. On top of that, video games have been dominating my waking hours. School starts in a mere two weeks.
It's been what, two weeks since I got back from San Diego? Consider this the first time I've actually gotten on track with ANYTHING since I got back. The trip was too much for words, and I definitely wish I were still in San Diego...at least for the rest of the summer or something.
However, returning to Sacramento life has gotten much more important lately, as a couple of major events are coming together in which I have a part to play.
For one, a major business venture/partnership has formed between my group and Terence's group. Essentially, Terence wants to help us get our names out in the art world. I'm still around 10% unsure about how everything will work out, but I'm game to actually get the ball rolling here.
Secondly, Alex's art show starts next saturday, at the Red Square Cafe off of Alhambra (in midtown). Although I fail to keep in touch with him and work on the details of the inaugural night of the art show, I'm sure we'll work it out and put together a great event. So far, I'm told at least two acts will perform at the cafe for the night of the art show, and we've got a dozen and one other things to go over to make the show more than a flop.
Anyway.
The summer blues has been setting in, and I'm sleeping in more often, and doing hardly anything productive now that I'm out of a job. On top of that, video games have been dominating my waking hours. School starts in a mere two weeks.
Sunday, July 18, 2004
Friday, July 16, 2004
i bought this EPIC game for my gamecube called Tales of Symphonia on thursday...you'd think that i'd just spend my waking hours immersing myself in this beautiful game, right? sadly, i've only played about 25 minutes worth of the game thus far. work and lack of sleep has been kicking the ass of my freetime lately. but hotfuckingdamn, this game has full clips of splendid anime and awe-inspiring graphics. it ALMOST beats out FFCC in terms of OMG factor.
in other news, my work term ends this coming tuesday, meaning i can only expect one last paycheck in august and it'll be off to claim unemployment. but the best part is that my seasonal position will potentially end RIGHT before i leave for SDCC. the worse part is that i'll be leaving behind a CACHE of hot chicks that work at FTB. dammit.
in other news, my work term ends this coming tuesday, meaning i can only expect one last paycheck in august and it'll be off to claim unemployment. but the best part is that my seasonal position will potentially end RIGHT before i leave for SDCC. the worse part is that i'll be leaving behind a CACHE of hot chicks that work at FTB. dammit.
HOT FUCKINGTON.
work today was...for some odd reason, one of the best ones. today was the third to the last day of work for me, and as usual, the cool things ALWAYS seem to happen at the latest possible moments. firstly, i got NOTHING done today, i basically zoned out for 8 hours straight. awesome. i probably DID get something done, but i can't remember because i was barely conscious.
normally, i'm anti-social at work, and i rarely talk to any of the people around me, only to laugh if i overhear a joke or something. today, however, i actually chatted with everyone around me, which probably added to my lack of production. oh well. talked to some of the cute asian girls that sit near me, took three too many smoke breaks, essentially i was the posterboy of bad employee. but it doesnt matter anymore, because my supervisor is gone, and the supervisor that was assigned to watch over us is somewhere deep in the cubicles out of sight. every other student assistant there dozed off on their desks.
OK, highlight of the work day: so there's this new starbucks stand outside of the nearby cafeteria, and for the past week or three, i've been eyeing the new girl they hired. cute, really cute. so i bought some random drink and basically talked to her for the whole of a break. her voice, oh god. basically, she's a cool cat, and was easy to talk to. and yeah.
but the real highlight of the day was sleeping in the chair out in the patio on the far side of the building. at 6am, NO ONE cares if you sleep in a chair during break or on top of your work. hahahahhahaha.
work today was...for some odd reason, one of the best ones. today was the third to the last day of work for me, and as usual, the cool things ALWAYS seem to happen at the latest possible moments. firstly, i got NOTHING done today, i basically zoned out for 8 hours straight. awesome. i probably DID get something done, but i can't remember because i was barely conscious.
normally, i'm anti-social at work, and i rarely talk to any of the people around me, only to laugh if i overhear a joke or something. today, however, i actually chatted with everyone around me, which probably added to my lack of production. oh well. talked to some of the cute asian girls that sit near me, took three too many smoke breaks, essentially i was the posterboy of bad employee. but it doesnt matter anymore, because my supervisor is gone, and the supervisor that was assigned to watch over us is somewhere deep in the cubicles out of sight. every other student assistant there dozed off on their desks.
OK, highlight of the work day: so there's this new starbucks stand outside of the nearby cafeteria, and for the past week or three, i've been eyeing the new girl they hired. cute, really cute. so i bought some random drink and basically talked to her for the whole of a break. her voice, oh god. basically, she's a cool cat, and was easy to talk to. and yeah.
but the real highlight of the day was sleeping in the chair out in the patio on the far side of the building. at 6am, NO ONE cares if you sleep in a chair during break or on top of your work. hahahahhahaha.
Thursday, July 08, 2004
I shall be creating a blog of some form where I will jot down and showcase the various rhymes I concoct (and have concocted). This way, I will get better used to the patterns I create and figure out how to master my style. Be forewarned, when I transform into a bloodthirsty emcee, it gets vicious; a side of me that I normally stifle roams wild and devours the enemy. I call him Artofact.
Sunday, July 04, 2004
Tuesday, June 29, 2004
Thursday, June 24, 2004
I've been taking shits (excreting feces) at work A LOT lately. It's like every other day I'll just stroll up to one of the many bathrooms and have at it; a battle with my porcelain nemesis. It's weird, really. Either I'm getting way too comfortable where I work, or my bowels can't even wait for the day to end for me to dump. I'm actually more disturbed by the possibly truth of the former more than the latter.
But I'm going to miss working there, because us temporaries will most likely be laid off at the end of the month. It was an awesome working there though, I would ALWAYS discover new hotties crawling about that I had never seen before. It's like the AMAZON of hot chicks.
But I'm going to miss working there, because us temporaries will most likely be laid off at the end of the month. It was an awesome working there though, I would ALWAYS discover new hotties crawling about that I had never seen before. It's like the AMAZON of hot chicks.
Tuesday, June 08, 2004
today was weird. it was chock full of surprise calls and dialogue...again...which is ok...i suppose. it was also full of mushy sentiment that just about bled through my pores. great day.
the alarm didnt wake me up, as it always doesn't. instead, the sound of a phone call brought me to consciousness, and this call was from Dave. i forget what it was about, but i'm sure it had something to do about the formation of this art club at CRC. woopty woop.
i got up, and proceeded with the normal routine of stagnation. i learned that i dont have work until next week, WHOA. later, i took a break from helping my dad to watch a movie or two (Cat in the Hat & Chasing Liberty). halfway through the movie, i got a call from Diabolicol, my floridian comrade, about SDCC plans. an hour or so after that, i get a call from Kirpal about potential freelance webdesign work for his promotions business, which is possibly extra cash in my pocket. then LATER, i get a call from the #3 about a 'surprise' party for her at Hamburger Mary's. I'm trying to get kosher with all the girls i've loved before, but i had to politely decline...which was to no avail because my phone cut out on me. sometime that night, i got a call from Rob about kicking it at Nolan's once more, which i had to pass on as well. and then lastly, i get an email from Ryan, of all people, about some ridiculous business of adding a new hostee to Respark.
Why does all the unexpected shit happen in one day for me?
the alarm didnt wake me up, as it always doesn't. instead, the sound of a phone call brought me to consciousness, and this call was from Dave. i forget what it was about, but i'm sure it had something to do about the formation of this art club at CRC. woopty woop.
i got up, and proceeded with the normal routine of stagnation. i learned that i dont have work until next week, WHOA. later, i took a break from helping my dad to watch a movie or two (Cat in the Hat & Chasing Liberty). halfway through the movie, i got a call from Diabolicol, my floridian comrade, about SDCC plans. an hour or so after that, i get a call from Kirpal about potential freelance webdesign work for his promotions business, which is possibly extra cash in my pocket. then LATER, i get a call from the #3 about a 'surprise' party for her at Hamburger Mary's. I'm trying to get kosher with all the girls i've loved before, but i had to politely decline...which was to no avail because my phone cut out on me. sometime that night, i got a call from Rob about kicking it at Nolan's once more, which i had to pass on as well. and then lastly, i get an email from Ryan, of all people, about some ridiculous business of adding a new hostee to Respark.
Why does all the unexpected shit happen in one day for me?
Wednesday, June 02, 2004
The Winds of War Scream
So it seems like the first 'guild war' is about to start on VOID, all thanks to Toast's suggestion that Respark takes on this small crew of newcomers to the ranks. which is INSANE, because Respark numbers at 9 strong when it comes to VOID fighters. I have respect for these new guys, but i do believe my guys will maim in the name of Respark. which is awesome. they're like my own personal army of digital warriors.
and all these events ride on the newest developments in the Respark collective. several cats have come out of the woodwork to rep Respark, which makes me glad. a couple of new guys have joined the ranks as well.
the Respark roster now swells with talent, which I could foresee taking this corner of the internet art world by storm.
it's really complicated how this enclave is even grouped together.
see, there are those who already have space and have actually made use of it:
2Coats (Ale Revolucion/Savage Henry)
Diabolicol
Gauge
Guru a.k.a Fithy
Khris
JAR
Joe Yega
Rai
Rockout Reggie
Splitzetsu
and then there are those who have yet to hop aboard, but have their spots already reserved:
Fel
Knome
Shelde
Ponbiki
and then there are the 'reserve team' of hostees that i acknowledge out of respect and love, but have yet to officially list them on the main page:
Prol-1
Odium
Ninja Matt
thats A LOT of talent. i think the only other group i know of that can match our size is probably dreamken. it's too bad that defuser and resnorm have all but gone kaput, because those were the heavyweight host sites that i modeled Respark after. i guess it's time to carry the torch of hosting artists.
Tuesday, June 01, 2004
LIFE IS A BEAUTIFUL STRUGGLE
it was a DOPE show. the perfect cap to a great summer weekend. originally, i was set to roll out to the Colonial with several folks, but i was only able to head to the show with Amador. it was coo though, because the show itself made up for the hour and a half wait in line and cramped-ness of the venue. the opening act was negligible, and as they finished i headed out to the front to jockey for a good enough position for taking pictures. when Kweli came to stage, the crowd roared with anticipation, and he immediately started his hour-long set with the first track on the leaked "The Beautiful Struggle" album called 'The Revolution.' for the most part, the line-up of songs were mostly from "The Beautiful Struggle" and "Reflection Eternal" with a few tracks from "Blackstar" and "Quality." it was fuckin great to be able to sing aloud a bunch of songs only a few of the folks in the crowd (including myself) knew. the only thing that bothered me was the damned venue itself, it was like a goddamned OVEN in there, and i could FEEL beads of sweat rolling down my legs every few minutes as well as wiping my face clean of a layer of perspiration. plus, the lighting in the theatre was horrible, which made most of my pictures turn out whack (only a third of them actually came out in useful quality).
Sunday, May 30, 2004
A RAUCOUS SHINDIG OF DEMONS AND SAINTS
the friday night party was insane. the return to mayhem was an overnight success, with relatively few hitches. the pace picked up at around midnight, when second and third degree invitees began to filter in; the reverie reached a fevered pitch at around 1am or so, after the toast to Rob's uncle Felix, who had recently passed away. with the profound words, advising that life be lived to the fullest with those you care and love, we whole-heartedly agreed, "FUCK DYING" (in the words of Pete). in some ways the night was also a reunion of people who had not spoken or seen one another in years, it was also a night of releasing inhibitions and letting loose. the details are far too many to chronicle, but i must say, that it was night of memories i'd love to keep, especially in my currently waning days of party animalism. i'm slowly losing my taste for hard liquors, beers, and cigarettes.
sadly, it has been a return to mayhem for my cohorts, but it's coming close to the requiem of my bacchalian spirit. true, this summer will have plenty more parties that i will jump to, but once fall rolls in, i believe i'm going to slow it down to a crawl. i just hope my hidden agendas will actually come together and revive me. i dont even know if i'm making any sense, because it has taken more than 24 hours for me to actually feel better about the friday night party, and that is not a good sign at all. add that to the realization that it has been the fourth time i've vomitted after hard partying in my entire 4 year career of revelry, and that the last three occured in this year alone... i need to just STOP and re-assess where i'm going with all this.
forgive me for the melancholy saturated in my entry, but the party really was fucking great. links to pictures will be given shortly.
the friday night party was insane. the return to mayhem was an overnight success, with relatively few hitches. the pace picked up at around midnight, when second and third degree invitees began to filter in; the reverie reached a fevered pitch at around 1am or so, after the toast to Rob's uncle Felix, who had recently passed away. with the profound words, advising that life be lived to the fullest with those you care and love, we whole-heartedly agreed, "FUCK DYING" (in the words of Pete). in some ways the night was also a reunion of people who had not spoken or seen one another in years, it was also a night of releasing inhibitions and letting loose. the details are far too many to chronicle, but i must say, that it was night of memories i'd love to keep, especially in my currently waning days of party animalism. i'm slowly losing my taste for hard liquors, beers, and cigarettes.
sadly, it has been a return to mayhem for my cohorts, but it's coming close to the requiem of my bacchalian spirit. true, this summer will have plenty more parties that i will jump to, but once fall rolls in, i believe i'm going to slow it down to a crawl. i just hope my hidden agendas will actually come together and revive me. i dont even know if i'm making any sense, because it has taken more than 24 hours for me to actually feel better about the friday night party, and that is not a good sign at all. add that to the realization that it has been the fourth time i've vomitted after hard partying in my entire 4 year career of revelry, and that the last three occured in this year alone... i need to just STOP and re-assess where i'm going with all this.
forgive me for the melancholy saturated in my entry, but the party really was fucking great. links to pictures will be given shortly.
Thursday, May 27, 2004
and counting
wednesday night was a cool day to be out, despite the solemn undertone. i essentially cruised up and down sacramento today, from arden to elk grove. van, jaime, and i went to the mall, where i purchased some patches and they some cigars. afterwards, we stopped by the thriftstore, where jaime got some new (old) threads, and i ran into this punk rock guy i met this semester, andre. went to eat afterward, then chilled at home for a minute. jen calls, we talk for a few, then rob calls me out to chilis for a drink and food. in total, jen drank a blood mary, i chugged 3 guinness draught bottles, rob two stoli martinis, and he and i took a shot of courvosier. the waitresses working today were smokin. after chilis, jen (the DD) drives us to bev'mo, where we reserve a large keg of sierra nevada for the upcoming party. on my credit card. ouch. hahaha. after that, we drop by jaimes after he finished work and chilled looking for the next spot to head to. we finally decide on dropping by anthony's, since orlando wasn't able to kick it tonight. we smoke from his hookah, then decide to hit up a bar/restaurant for some drinks. the closest place of reputable beer vending was in elk grove, the world reknowned elk grove brewery. jaime, anthony and i order pints of varying choices, and rob goes for his favorite top-shelf martini, grey goose. altogether, we all order a pint a piece, from stouts, to black and tans, to ciders, to special ales. the best part was that the bartender was really cool, charging us for only three pints (when we ordered 6) because of the recent string of spring birthdays. we end back up at anthony's to wait for alex, and then waiting for jasmine/nick/pat. i depart before midnight, as the rest of them head over to jamie's for a night cap.
the mix of toxic materials i consumed today was GLORIOUS. marlboro menthol lights, newport 100s, raspberry tobacco via hookah, macaduno cigar, stoli and grey goose martinis, bloody mary, grain barrel stout, and cider.
and this is just a warm-up for friday's party of mayhem, HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA.
wednesday night was a cool day to be out, despite the solemn undertone. i essentially cruised up and down sacramento today, from arden to elk grove. van, jaime, and i went to the mall, where i purchased some patches and they some cigars. afterwards, we stopped by the thriftstore, where jaime got some new (old) threads, and i ran into this punk rock guy i met this semester, andre. went to eat afterward, then chilled at home for a minute. jen calls, we talk for a few, then rob calls me out to chilis for a drink and food. in total, jen drank a blood mary, i chugged 3 guinness draught bottles, rob two stoli martinis, and he and i took a shot of courvosier. the waitresses working today were smokin. after chilis, jen (the DD) drives us to bev'mo, where we reserve a large keg of sierra nevada for the upcoming party. on my credit card. ouch. hahaha. after that, we drop by jaimes after he finished work and chilled looking for the next spot to head to. we finally decide on dropping by anthony's, since orlando wasn't able to kick it tonight. we smoke from his hookah, then decide to hit up a bar/restaurant for some drinks. the closest place of reputable beer vending was in elk grove, the world reknowned elk grove brewery. jaime, anthony and i order pints of varying choices, and rob goes for his favorite top-shelf martini, grey goose. altogether, we all order a pint a piece, from stouts, to black and tans, to ciders, to special ales. the best part was that the bartender was really cool, charging us for only three pints (when we ordered 6) because of the recent string of spring birthdays. we end back up at anthony's to wait for alex, and then waiting for jasmine/nick/pat. i depart before midnight, as the rest of them head over to jamie's for a night cap.
the mix of toxic materials i consumed today was GLORIOUS. marlboro menthol lights, newport 100s, raspberry tobacco via hookah, macaduno cigar, stoli and grey goose martinis, bloody mary, grain barrel stout, and cider.
and this is just a warm-up for friday's party of mayhem, HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA.
Sunday, May 23, 2004
I HAVE COME TO KILL HIPSTERS
after work on friday, i went to this badass thrift store on stockton blvd called THRIFTOWN and scored two cool jackets. one is this brown corduroy coat with a nice furry collar trim, and the other is a green army-like jacket with furry collar and nifty golden buttons. they're both totally rad. i'll post pictures of my suave new look once i find some patches that could go with them.
friday night was ron's graduation romp at a hip restaurant bar on 16th and J st called Mikuni. its like a nexus for upscale white jerks and 'jawdropper' chicks. though our group was completely unsuited for the spot, we had a fun time making noise in our little area. i played something of the wingman for the night, turning on the killer charm in me to make the homeboys look good. and when i say killer charm, i mean belligerent asshole persona that gives the guys ample opportunity to be gentlemanly and woo the ladies. the night was a fucking blast. pictures of one half of the night can be found here.
saturday was another marathon event of kicking back and partying, where we chilled at orlandos drinking beer, chivas regal, and oysters hot off the grill. we then headed out north-eastward to a house party somewhere in el camino. i left early, but the party was pretty damned cool. there were DJ's spinnin in the patio, blazin white girls dancin, folks loungin in the outdoor couches and benches, Kiel operated his gravity bong, "Ralphie", Jasmine cooked filipino food, a keg of Hieneken (complete with guys upside down to drink it) and people kept filtering into the backyard every half hour. i think Jerald wanted to start spittin freestyles with Nick when i was about to leave. hell, even FRANK came out to play that night, as well as Anthony Reiher. as long as my folks are having a good time, i'm content to leave knowing this.
after work on friday, i went to this badass thrift store on stockton blvd called THRIFTOWN and scored two cool jackets. one is this brown corduroy coat with a nice furry collar trim, and the other is a green army-like jacket with furry collar and nifty golden buttons. they're both totally rad. i'll post pictures of my suave new look once i find some patches that could go with them.
friday night was ron's graduation romp at a hip restaurant bar on 16th and J st called Mikuni. its like a nexus for upscale white jerks and 'jawdropper' chicks. though our group was completely unsuited for the spot, we had a fun time making noise in our little area. i played something of the wingman for the night, turning on the killer charm in me to make the homeboys look good. and when i say killer charm, i mean belligerent asshole persona that gives the guys ample opportunity to be gentlemanly and woo the ladies. the night was a fucking blast. pictures of one half of the night can be found here.
saturday was another marathon event of kicking back and partying, where we chilled at orlandos drinking beer, chivas regal, and oysters hot off the grill. we then headed out north-eastward to a house party somewhere in el camino. i left early, but the party was pretty damned cool. there were DJ's spinnin in the patio, blazin white girls dancin, folks loungin in the outdoor couches and benches, Kiel operated his gravity bong, "Ralphie", Jasmine cooked filipino food, a keg of Hieneken (complete with guys upside down to drink it) and people kept filtering into the backyard every half hour. i think Jerald wanted to start spittin freestyles with Nick when i was about to leave. hell, even FRANK came out to play that night, as well as Anthony Reiher. as long as my folks are having a good time, i'm content to leave knowing this.
Friday, May 14, 2004
damn you Ale, for making me less of the wuss that i normally am. YOU WILL PAY.
so i made the call, and it was a good one. the first was in vain, but my attempt was returned, and the conversation lasted from the second i stepped out of the triple doors at work until i got into my car and exited the gates. i'd say a nice 6 or so minutes. from that moment on, i felt ALIVE.
it was fuckin surreal. if you know the history behind my motives, you would know that the person on the other end of the line and i exchanged a maximum of 50 words between each other throughout four years of highschool. i don't know what to think now. so many goddamn things are up in the air and i've nary a clue as to which choice to make. i'd try and wing it, work with every option, but i think i'm tired of that game by now. i just have to remember Joel Barrish and Eternal Sunshine.
in other news, i cruised around downtown/midtown with my cousins Dobhie, Geno, and Robbie, had fun and liquor at INK as well as dropping by Monkey Bar. life is feeling great.
so i made the call, and it was a good one. the first was in vain, but my attempt was returned, and the conversation lasted from the second i stepped out of the triple doors at work until i got into my car and exited the gates. i'd say a nice 6 or so minutes. from that moment on, i felt ALIVE.
it was fuckin surreal. if you know the history behind my motives, you would know that the person on the other end of the line and i exchanged a maximum of 50 words between each other throughout four years of highschool. i don't know what to think now. so many goddamn things are up in the air and i've nary a clue as to which choice to make. i'd try and wing it, work with every option, but i think i'm tired of that game by now. i just have to remember Joel Barrish and Eternal Sunshine.
in other news, i cruised around downtown/midtown with my cousins Dobhie, Geno, and Robbie, had fun and liquor at INK as well as dropping by Monkey Bar. life is feeling great.
Thursday, May 13, 2004
DISGRUNTLED
soon, bitches, real soon. school is out in a mere two weeks. i've got to wing a couple more major academic events, and i'm in the clear. i think the upswing begins once i'm officially out of school. yes, i think so. i'll have a bit of money to cruise with until SDCC, and i'll definitely be on the hunt for a new job near and far. a couple of things are falling into to place lately, and coincidentally, karma started to give me those sexin eyes around the time i officially turned 21 last week. needless to say, this summer will top last years (although that's not saying much because last summer was possibly the first real summer i ever had).
but above all things, i've got to thank whatever insidiously divine forces out there thrust me into the position i am now. i thank alex, pete, kiel, jaime, ryan, and many more for being a friend to a unscrupulous creature such as i. heres to many more years of getting drunk and wild, folks.
i'm still pissed that the world is mostly populated by apathetic morons who are contributing to the daily dissemination of human integrity. hypocrisy or rhetoric? you decide!
soon, bitches, real soon. school is out in a mere two weeks. i've got to wing a couple more major academic events, and i'm in the clear. i think the upswing begins once i'm officially out of school. yes, i think so. i'll have a bit of money to cruise with until SDCC, and i'll definitely be on the hunt for a new job near and far. a couple of things are falling into to place lately, and coincidentally, karma started to give me those sexin eyes around the time i officially turned 21 last week. needless to say, this summer will top last years (although that's not saying much because last summer was possibly the first real summer i ever had).
but above all things, i've got to thank whatever insidiously divine forces out there thrust me into the position i am now. i thank alex, pete, kiel, jaime, ryan, and many more for being a friend to a unscrupulous creature such as i. heres to many more years of getting drunk and wild, folks.
i'm still pissed that the world is mostly populated by apathetic morons who are contributing to the daily dissemination of human integrity. hypocrisy or rhetoric? you decide!
Wednesday, May 05, 2004
FUCK ART
i have neither the energy, capacity, patience, time, or love for it as i once had. sure, i've doodled some random shit every other week or so...but i have not done anything artistically productive in so long. consider this the dear john letter to art. i'm done with you for now. i've been saying i'm an artist, that i want to draw comics and that shit, but that's like a lie now. no more deception; i'm not going to fool you or myself any longer. and not just art in the sense of pencil to paper, but all the other areas of creative expression. i don't want you in my life right now. i just feel like i need to start fresh, a new path away from the shitty feeling i get when i think of myself and art. its like a sort of PRESSURE on me when it comes to art, as if there are expectations and standards i'm supposed to meet. i dont want that, i get enough of that kind of shit from parents.
but i'll be back to give you some sweet lovin when the time is right.
i have neither the energy, capacity, patience, time, or love for it as i once had. sure, i've doodled some random shit every other week or so...but i have not done anything artistically productive in so long. consider this the dear john letter to art. i'm done with you for now. i've been saying i'm an artist, that i want to draw comics and that shit, but that's like a lie now. no more deception; i'm not going to fool you or myself any longer. and not just art in the sense of pencil to paper, but all the other areas of creative expression. i don't want you in my life right now. i just feel like i need to start fresh, a new path away from the shitty feeling i get when i think of myself and art. its like a sort of PRESSURE on me when it comes to art, as if there are expectations and standards i'm supposed to meet. i dont want that, i get enough of that kind of shit from parents.
but i'll be back to give you some sweet lovin when the time is right.
Monday, May 03, 2004
Welcome to the end of the world
the magic number 21 has come upon me. and nothing feels different or the same. the first 'official' drink of beer tasted just like the one last night. and the one on thursday. same flavor, different circumstances. argh, the paradoxes and conundrums. fuck it.
i just realized tonight that i've been calling the WRONG number all this time whenever i tried to give my #1 a ring. O. M. G. extreme idiocy at its best. each time i called, the phone rang eternally, without a voice message prompt. what was i thinking? but now it makes me wonder, WHERE does the number i originally dialed go? who does it belong to? who the fuck doesnt answer their phones? i had mentally conjured this image of an abandoned house with a lone telephone ringing incessantly.
tomorrow will just be another bump in the road towards this saturday's drunkfest, sadly. actually, i kind of want to run into Ms. #3 and give her the heads up about the party. but may just be a fool's desire. maybe before i get home, i'll end up having to pick up a 6-pack of beer and drink the sorrow away, haha. HOPEFULLY, i can get in touch with pete regarding the MUSE concert on tuesday. that would rock my balls to the extreme. truly. and then comes thursday, which may be another concert, but this time with hip-hop legends De La Soul. no doubt the #1 syndrome will come into effect at that show. ARGH.
to my fellow buffalo soldiers, hang in there, your days of glory are coming. next up, may 8th/9th, followed by may 11th, may 18th, and then finally may 20th. i'm looking forward to one big bar hop at the end of the month, as well as parties dotting the month of may. rock on, drunkards.
--edit--
so the MUSE concert is totally sold out. fucking bummer. i havent been to a rock concert in ages, and i had hoped that MUSE concert would be a good jumping point for the rock resurgence for me. oh well, looks like i'll be a hiphophile for now.
the magic number 21 has come upon me. and nothing feels different or the same. the first 'official' drink of beer tasted just like the one last night. and the one on thursday. same flavor, different circumstances. argh, the paradoxes and conundrums. fuck it.
i just realized tonight that i've been calling the WRONG number all this time whenever i tried to give my #1 a ring. O. M. G. extreme idiocy at its best. each time i called, the phone rang eternally, without a voice message prompt. what was i thinking? but now it makes me wonder, WHERE does the number i originally dialed go? who does it belong to? who the fuck doesnt answer their phones? i had mentally conjured this image of an abandoned house with a lone telephone ringing incessantly.
tomorrow will just be another bump in the road towards this saturday's drunkfest, sadly. actually, i kind of want to run into Ms. #3 and give her the heads up about the party. but may just be a fool's desire. maybe before i get home, i'll end up having to pick up a 6-pack of beer and drink the sorrow away, haha. HOPEFULLY, i can get in touch with pete regarding the MUSE concert on tuesday. that would rock my balls to the extreme. truly. and then comes thursday, which may be another concert, but this time with hip-hop legends De La Soul. no doubt the #1 syndrome will come into effect at that show. ARGH.
to my fellow buffalo soldiers, hang in there, your days of glory are coming. next up, may 8th/9th, followed by may 11th, may 18th, and then finally may 20th. i'm looking forward to one big bar hop at the end of the month, as well as parties dotting the month of may. rock on, drunkards.
--edit--
so the MUSE concert is totally sold out. fucking bummer. i havent been to a rock concert in ages, and i had hoped that MUSE concert would be a good jumping point for the rock resurgence for me. oh well, looks like i'll be a hiphophile for now.