Thursday, March 24, 2005

Moving on.

Like before, I'll be veering away from using blogger in favor of a site-based weblog system (grey-matter). I've got a slight handle on how the cgi works, so I'll be jumping into FINALLY constructing my little site on respark. I'll probably continue to use revizion and artofact for their own specific purposes, but once I get soul up and running, I'll be focusing on updating it more so than the others.

In other news (if you would consider anything I mention news), I'll be setting my eyes on developing this comic book and just upping my game in general. I haven't been consistent with my art in months, so now is the time to get out of my laziness. To support productivity, I have resolved to draw all the current Void fighters from A to Z. Including the two fighters that start their names with fighters (0roch1 and 2.4). Hopefully I can draw a fighter per lunch break at work, which is about 3 per week.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

I've lost a lot of faith in most people.

Which only strengthens my resolve to segregate myself from everyone else. Just about everything about socializing has lost appeal, and I find little use to do so now. I've always been a solo mind wandering around, even when I had this great group of friends called sQuiD, and even back in the days when it was just me, Jon, Kris, and Eeron kicking it. Now the fact that I am, and probably always will be, alone is becoming more apparent. I'm beginning to think there's no use in keeping friends when it's more than likely they'll let you down. And then whats the use of being able to rely on someone if you know they'll disregard you. Too many times have I felt unimportant when I've tried my damnedest to be a reliable person. Sometimes I am clearly at the center of things, but I still feel like I'm on the outside looking in. I am no one.

This sounds like a really bad rant I once wrote.

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Well, damn.

It's been a minute since I last logged in. Considering a lot of shit has gone down since I last recorded my thoughts here, I have some explaining to do.

So first, the kickback. My family left me at home while they went off to San Diego. I rounded up as many of my close friends together to hang out at my house on Saturday. They brought the grill, and Rob (for the majority of the time) barbecqued chicken and hamburgers. We threw back beers, and smoked cigs and blunts in the backyard, frontyard, and garage. The night was capped with some more beer and plenty of gamecube participation. Sunday was more of the same, but other than barbecqueing, we deepfried fish sticks and fries. More gaming. It was good.

Then my family came back on Monday night to a somewhat dirty house. That was pretty bad.

I've been playing way too much Def Jam: Fight for NY lately. That's bad, too.

I finished one page of my comic. One out of 9. With only a week or two left before our deadline. Thats REALLY bad.

Started work with FTB again. That's just all around bad. But money is involved, so its OK.

There's something immense weighing on my mind. Emo magnitude. That's plain UGLY.

Monday, February 28, 2005


yes, you can.

This weekend was chill, and dare I say, AWESOME? It was fairly haphazard, as far as I can tell. Friday, did the normal thing, school bleh bleh bleh. Kicked it with Lazell after class, happily accepted cigarettes from her while we hung out at CRC. The rest of Friday is lost in my memory somewhere. I probably slept through most of it.

Saturday was a blast, forrealz. Woke up early after only 2 hours of sleep. I blame it on my willingness to stay up and talk to Claudia online. I'm a sucker for her sometimes. Dropped off the younger sister to Elk Grove High for some reason, went home, ate a fat breakfast, waited expectingly for Ron. An hour and a half after he said he'd come pick me up, I wake up on the living room couch to his doorbell. It's around 10:30am now, but the loss of time didn't matter because we were going to snowboard for free anyway. By the time we got to Lincoln, I was passed out; woke up in Truckee on the way to Northstar. Suited up, grabbed the board, strolled up into Northstar like badasses. Ron went into the rental shop and got our lift ticket hook-ups.

We took the Vista lift to avoid the slow gondola ride to mid-mountain, and cut straight to the waypoint. Checked our backpacks in, and took the Pioneer lift to make a blazingly quick run down the bunnyhill for a warm-up. And when I say quick, I mean we zipped through the open hill with no stops and pure speed. At the bottom of the run, we hit up Pioneer lift again, but this time we went down the backdoor trail which led straight to the back side. After the corridor transferred onto the main runs, it dropped into this crazy hill dotted with ridges and bumps like a broken mogul. I actually think I went down part of a mogul. Should've listened to Ron when he said to stick to the side of the hill. The back side lift took us to the summit, and from there we hit the backside again. By the time I caught up to Ron, we were exhausted enough to get lunch. We called it quits after the meal, and once again Ron led the way to a faster and efficient trail to the village. Productive to say the least, Painful to say the most.

When I got home, I sat my ass down to rest, then got ready to hang out with the cousins for Jr's birthday. ate, went home, slept. Woke up again, this time for church, got home, slept again.
Woke up at 7pm (hell yeah), realized there was nothing good to eat at home, put on some clothes, left to get food. It started raining, but I was too hungry to let that stop me. Made a quick stop at the Monkey House, said whassup to Kiel, Jasmine, and Jaime. Reclaimed my zippo lighter, then went to grab some grub. Carne Asada fries from Carolina's. A forty ounce of King Cobra and MGD from the local liquor store. Gave the 40oz to Kiel and ate my fries ecstaticly. Rob and Jen had come home by the time I returned, and they brought liquor with them, as well. Two bottles of wine from their trip to Sonoma. Pat waltzed in minutes later, with a bottle of E&J. Just another night hanging out at the Monkey House.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005


It was bananas. Pure and unadulterated raucous rock. I recounted the basic events of the trip to LA and San Diego, but I didn't capture the apeshit craziness that happened over the two and a half days we were away. These are the memories I take with me of our So.Cal Vandal Tour.

Once again, we played Eagles of Death Metal on a roadtrip, and me and Alex violently rocked the front seats of the car for an hour of insane glory.

This time, Alex stayed up the whole night while I drove, which added a good amount of laughs and entertainment for 5 straight hours.

At around midnight on the way down, while most of us were still asleep, Alex randomly blurted out the "kininnigan" inside-joke of ours and we resolved to repeat the joke every other hour. Which we actually did, hahahaha.

I probably would have been just as content watching the Indiana Jones trilogy on Saturday and Sunday rather than go out on the town.

Dave and Busters is a cool place, but they only had Tekken 4 and a rom arcade machine for fighting games. WTF.

I tried to get a hold of LJ (fellefel) to kick it, but my call was too late and we were too far away from where he lived to kick it on Saturday night.

Alex noticed that So.Cal girls looked hot, but didn't have an acceptable amount of junk in the trunk for our tastes. I attributed it to the, "2-D Booty Phenomenon."

I'm starting to think that girls down south are far more personable a.k.a. skankyslut than the girls up here. Seriously, a random girl around here wouldn't give me the time of day, but out there they'd come onto you first. CRAZY.

Adam and the rest of the cats living in that house are totally sedate, and its awesome. When we arrived, Mike was on his way to buying some beer and the rest were watching Futurama episodes.

Mike and Adam showed me the motorcycle that they 'stole' which was probably originally stolen and abandoned at the Ramada Inn across the street from their house.

Most of of the day we were at the San Diego house, me, Alex, and Jaime would crack all kinds of Anchorman reference jokes. What struck me was that not a damn person in that house laughed along with us, because only one of them actually saw the movie. Those guys are dead inside or something.

Downtown San Diego is crawling with hotties. And it was only a Sunday night. For future references, always remember that the Gaslamp District has the best bars/clubs on 5th street (and F street). Everything that would be of interest is located on that strip, it even goes all the way down to the Convention Center.

The C Lounge was the highlight of the entire trip. Imagine a hip hop club that actually played good hip hop. Chick in the Fatal Fury hat caught both me and Alex's eye that night, as she was this blazin' young latina with a massive vibe that everyone there felt.

There was this amazingly cute chick that sat on a couch across from the one me and Jaime were sitting on, whom caught my eye. We exchanged glances, a quick smile. Some guy was buggin her, and eventually he was led out by security right in front of us. She gave me that relieved and annoyed look when dude was led away. We exchanged a few words, and that was it for now. She eventually wandered off and talked to a bunch of different guys that night. When the DJ gave up the mic for a freestyle session, I stopped by the bar to grab a beer. I felt a tap on my arm, and saw her right next to me. She asked if I were buying a shot, I told her I was ordering a Heineken. She then asked me if I would like to take a shot with her, because she didnt want to take one alone. She had just stopped talking to some guy a few minutes before I got my beer, so I felt honored. She had taken some other shots that night, so she asked me to choose. The bartender didn't have the right ingredients to make Liquid Cocaine, so I let the bartender pick one. Washington Apple. I insisted on buying our beers and shots, but she was a persistent one. I'm pretty sure the bartender never rung either us up for my beer, ROCK. She said to make a toast, to make the shot seem fitting. I toasted to "Hip Hop", she toasted "it don't stop." We flirted for a few minutes. I was getting caught up in her. Strike one. She thought I looked familiar, but I told her I'm not from around here. Strike two. I tried to get her to get on the dancefloor with me, but she said something like "I dont really dance, only when the mood and right song is on." Strike three. I was out of there. It was pathetic how I let the moment fail, but whatever. Only in San Diego.

Vandalizing San Diego and Fullerton was the most liberating feeling of the entire trip. Seeing Taft and Huey Newton on some random wall or street corner was great.

Watching Kung Fu Hustle while high made it seem like the greatest martial arts movie ever filmed. And I'm pretty sure it is.


After we left the San Diego house, I got lost 3 times leaving SD, 2 times leaving Fullerton. I claimed that I didn't really get lost, and that I was merely, "looking for something."

This store down the street from Gema's apartment had this giant window signage that said "Puppies, only $25." We rushed in and fell in love with all the cute puppies inside. I started to notice that each puppy was pure-bred and none of them were cheaper than $500. We eventually left, and I thought that all $25 puppies were probably already bought. When we walked out the door, Cheryl noticed the smaller print on the signage that read: "per month." DAMMITT!!

Before we left Fullerton, I started taking swigs from Alex's bottle of Jagermeister, which quickly had me buzzin before we even hit the road.

During the holdup on the foothill highway to Grapevine, I spontaneously ran out of the car in a fit of madness, flailed my way to the next car in front, then back to the car, all the while screaming incoherent shouts.

After my moment of insanity, a guy in a truck ahead of us got out of his car and approached me, we talked for a few minutes. At the end of the conversation he asked me if I had "stuff," and I laughed and said that we smoked back in San Diego. He left and said that if anyone walked by and offered to sell any, to send the guy to him. Potheads are funny.

When the traffic finally started moving again, I noticed that the cute girl in the car next to us fell asleep in her car. I hesitated, but didn't knock on her window to tell her that the roadblock had lifted. As I pulled away, I noticed that her headlights never came back on.

Though we got back in South Sac by 7:30am, we didn't actually leave Jaime's house until after 10am.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005


so the plan during president's day weekend is to drive down to the other half of the state, the side I like more; a trip that will take us to orange county and to san diego. as it stands, those going will be me driving the explorer, my sister, and my cousin geno, and hopefully Alex can get the days off to come along with. i'm just glad that i'll have a chance to get out of this city. the change of setting will hopefully clear my head.

in light of this, i had this idea that one day, i want to gather together as many of the VOID artists that i know of residing in California and basically spend several days just kicking it with them. for instance, i could go get Zato, his brother Kura, Ju-Ju, and QTR and take them all down south to meet up with Fel, Molotov, Robosockmonkey, Jay, Pi, and whomever else lives in the southern area. it would be great. maybe this could happen when San Diego Comic-con hits, but i was thinking more like a time outside of a con; a RALLY of artists that i share a loyalty for VOID with.

Monday, February 14, 2005

I fear this day more so than my own birthday.

Apathy, self-loathing, spite, angst, bitterness, all that shit rolled into one within a span of 24 hours. And I thought the fear of turning 22 would get to me. Nope. Its the fear of being completely alone at a table of friends. Goddamn Bright Eyes lyrics are creeping into the back of my skull.

So what am I going to do. Last year, It was a weekend, so I was able to just meet up with my cousins and kick it with a few drinks. This time, its a fuckin Monday, the most inopportune day of the week. Eh, we'll see how the day unfolds. I really just want it to be done and over with, so that the President's Day weekend San Diego trip can be NOW. Actually, I just wish summer were now. Or at least year 40. Pull a string, fast forward through life, like that Saturday afternoon cartoon special. I thought I was done with that "EMO" thing. Guess I was wrong, eh? Hear I am, listening to a completely SOMBER album by Bright Eyes, having just drawn the most twisted thing my mind could conceive and wallowing.


This cough is killing me, made my thoughts scrambled. I went downstairs and consumed a cocktail of medicines to fight this hacking and sneezing. The scariest thing is, I stood there and contemplated taking 12 too many aspirin and whatever lay in front of me. And then I thought. No. Don't do that.

What would I have lived for? WHAT DO I LIVE FOR NOW?

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

I'll admit it.

One of the few guilty pleasures I have in life is this one television show on the WB, One Tree Hill. I probably watch 1 and a half hours of television a week. And it's most likely me watching an episode of that show.

Saturday, February 05, 2005

That's it. I'm done.

Shit's been way too hectic as of late. I can't stand it, really. I'm so behind in everything it's a wonder if I were to make a miraculous comeback. But I took steps to remedy my stagnant position. I dropped off the gamecube and resident evil 4 at Jaime's, to give him the curse of video gaming for the time being while I recoup. Hopefully, and thats a big hopefully, I can get on track or find my vibe again. DRAW OR DIE.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

I lost my handy dandy list of the new music I'd either buy or download, so I'm putting it up here so I wont forget.

The Knife- Deep Cuts
Electronica duo, euro dance pop. I saw the CD at Tower Records, but it was about $19 (it came with a DVD). HMMM.

The Fiery Furnaces: Blueberry Boat
Havent seen it anywhere, but then again I didnt actually look for it yet.

The Shocking Pinks: Dance the Dance Electric
The album title sounds cool enough to make me want to buy it. HAHAH.

The Yellowswans a.k.a. D Yellow Swans: Bring the Neon War Home
It was distributed as a CD-R somewhere, but I saw a copy of it at Tower for 14. FOURTEEN DOLLARS for FIVE TRACKS. It probably sounds great.

Rogue Wave: Out of the Shadow
Saw a copy at The Beat downtown. Its on the Sub Pop label, which is a plus. It actually sounds kind of good from the little bits I've heard.

Comets on Fire: Blue Cathedral
Another Sub Pop signee, also in the Bay Area. Heavy rock sound, me likey. Theres a copy of the album at Tower.

The Citizens: Are We There Yet
NYC rock band, reminds me of Interpol. Chill music, for sure. There SHOULD be a copy at Tower, but there wasn't. Those fuckers.

Prince Po: The Slickness
Solo album away from his group Organized Konfusion. Production help from Raekwon, Madlib, and Danger Mouse makes me want to bump this hardcore.

The Foreign Exchange: Connected
A rapper from North Carolina and a beatmaker from the Netherlands teamed up to make this album, and they never even met before.

De La Soul: The Grind Date
It's De La Soul. I don't need to rationalize why I should get it, its a must.

Sunday, January 30, 2005

The most random 7 hours of my life
I woke up around 2pm, I think. I first remember being told to get ready because we were going to a house warming party at my cousins. I then remembered that Filipinos love to cook a ton of food at parties. I got ready in 10 minutes flat (thats INCLUDING a shower).
2:30 pm rolled by, and the priest came to do the blessings and what not. 15 minutes later, I'm given the signal to pig out. And that I did.
An hour later, my cousin' Melissa's boyfriend Darin offered to make me a margarita. Belvedere vodka. Hell yes. By 4pm, I had the slightest of loose buzzes creeping up. Someone put The Passion of the Christ on dvd, and I sat there immersed. 6pm finally arrives, and I go home to figure out the rest of my night.
When I got home, I burned a copy of Bright Eyes "Digital Ash in a Digital Urn" and The Mars Volta "Frances the Mute" for Pat and Alex, respectively. I got to the Monkeyhouse by 7pm, just missing a visit from Jen's London flatmates. Rob, Lazell, Nick, Kiel, Jasmine, Pat, and Audrey were there, chillin as per the usual routine. Half and hour later, Jaime comes home and commented on how "sharp" I looked that day (black ribbed turtleneck sweater, khaki pants & jacket, casual dress shoes, and a bowler cap). The hype is brewing.
After a few smokes with Kiel and designating him as a professional paragrapher, Alex gives me and Jaime a call. He just got off work and is hanging out at the Monkeybar. Nick and Pat went on a run for an 1/8th, and returned with quite a handful. He rolled a blunt, and I sparked a bowl from the hookah. I took a hit in rotation, then coaxed Jaime into going out tonight after he talked to Alex. It didnt take much, and soon he was ready to cruise the town. We said our goodbyes to the group we left at the house and journeyed forth.

Now here's where the random begins.

As I pulled onto Center parkway, Jaime gave Orlando a call to see if he was still down to come out tonight. Apparently, Lando changed his mind, but there was no changing mine. He thought I was joking, but I went straight to his house and ordered him to get outside and into my car. Jaime said something, some magic string of words that flipped his entire position. 10 minutes later, he's in my car and we're on our way downtown.
To my dismay, the crowd at the Monkeybar had thinned out from when I last talked to Alex, and ol' boy was just chillin in an apartment above the bar. Luckily, I found parking just a scant 30 feet away from the front door of the bar. Alex saw us through the window above, and called us over. A bit of deliberation, and we waltz into the bar. I get Lando a jack & coke, Jaime a black & tan, myself a pint of Sierra Nevada. Though the crowd at the bar turned haggard, there was a dope jazz band playing live in Cafe Bernardos, which is connected to the Monkeybar.
We sat for a good 15 minutes, and then another bone was thrown our way. Alex got word from his coworker that 2MEX was playing a show in Roseville. I was down, and so was Lando and Jaime. We finished our drinks, then headed back to my car. As I drove down 28th street, Jaime gave Ryan a call, knowing that Rai liked 2Mex from listening to the Visionaries. Fortunately, Ryan was on his way back from Davis, so we diverted his path home to meet us on a lonely street corner on N st. By 11:30pm, we had assembled the 5 man crew that would quest its way to Owl Club to see 2Mex rock the house.
By 11:45, the blunt hit started to kick in, as well as the brandy shot from Jaime's house. We got lost in downtown Roseville for about half an hour. The best part, however, was the fact that it was technically a 8 dollar cover for the show, but we actually strutted into the club and saw the performance without dropping a dime for the charge.
Regardless, 2Mex was dope. We caught the last half of the set, but it was still great. We left the Owl Club at 1:30am, with no more than an idea of what to do next. Upon leaving, Jaime spotted a 7 Eleven at the very moment that we unanimously agreed we needed beer. Not only did we purchase a 40 oz of beer per person, but we actually had extra. 4 MGD's, a Steel Reserve, MD 20/20, and a 6 pack of Sierra Nevada.
I bumped The Mars Volta the way back home and Jaime drank his 40. I dropped Ryan off at his car, and Lando rode with him. It turns out Ryan dropped Lando home, but Ryan came to Jaime's anyway. SOLDIER. From 2am to 5am, the stragglers from that night drank 40s and laughed until we became sleepy. Steel Reserve is the devil's nectar.

Thursday, January 27, 2005

1. Rodney
2. Rod
3. Vision/Viz

1. ii2ome0
2. v1z10n
3. resparksoul

1. Filipino
2. American
3. Californian

1. silverfish
2. ghosts
3. suicidal thoughts

1. laptop
2. creativity
3. logic

1. fleece pants
2. boxer briefs
3. quarashi shirt

1. the faint
2. the mars volta
3. the blood brothers

1. the blood brothers- crimes
2. dead prez- they schools
3. outerspace- grand groove 2

1. finish a full length comic
2. publish a compilation book
3. find a meaning to my life

1. to be able to be a badass jerk to the girl and know she wont hold it against me
2. say everything and anything i want
3. unpredicatability

1. under the gruff and rough exterior, i'm a softy at heart
2. i would trade my entire life and livelihood for peace
3. i hate most people, with the exception of maybe Alex and my Respark Army

1. eyes
2. smile
3. curves

1. the opposite of procrastinate
2. spit game to random girls in public
3. shop for periods of time longer than 3 hours.

1. art
2. snowboard
3. video games

1. smoke a cigarette
2. be anywhere but in sacramento
3. get drunk

1. illustrator/designer/comic artist
2. entrepeneur
3. drug dealer

1. san diego
2. toronto
3. chicago

1. xavier
2. max
3. nereid

1. ride a dinosaur
2. own a helicopter
3. infiltrate montauk

1. it
2. dont
3. matta

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

The internet I've been pirating from my cousin next door has been acting up for the past week, mainly the DNS protocols being whacked out. It works now, and I am whole once more. Seriously, I missed a fuckton of things in this past week and a half of not using the internet. It's a crazier world out there now, and I want to be insane to be normal part of it.