Wednesday, February 16, 2005


so the plan during president's day weekend is to drive down to the other half of the state, the side I like more; a trip that will take us to orange county and to san diego. as it stands, those going will be me driving the explorer, my sister, and my cousin geno, and hopefully Alex can get the days off to come along with. i'm just glad that i'll have a chance to get out of this city. the change of setting will hopefully clear my head.

in light of this, i had this idea that one day, i want to gather together as many of the VOID artists that i know of residing in California and basically spend several days just kicking it with them. for instance, i could go get Zato, his brother Kura, Ju-Ju, and QTR and take them all down south to meet up with Fel, Molotov, Robosockmonkey, Jay, Pi, and whomever else lives in the southern area. it would be great. maybe this could happen when San Diego Comic-con hits, but i was thinking more like a time outside of a con; a RALLY of artists that i share a loyalty for VOID with.

Monday, February 14, 2005

I fear this day more so than my own birthday.

Apathy, self-loathing, spite, angst, bitterness, all that shit rolled into one within a span of 24 hours. And I thought the fear of turning 22 would get to me. Nope. Its the fear of being completely alone at a table of friends. Goddamn Bright Eyes lyrics are creeping into the back of my skull.

So what am I going to do. Last year, It was a weekend, so I was able to just meet up with my cousins and kick it with a few drinks. This time, its a fuckin Monday, the most inopportune day of the week. Eh, we'll see how the day unfolds. I really just want it to be done and over with, so that the President's Day weekend San Diego trip can be NOW. Actually, I just wish summer were now. Or at least year 40. Pull a string, fast forward through life, like that Saturday afternoon cartoon special. I thought I was done with that "EMO" thing. Guess I was wrong, eh? Hear I am, listening to a completely SOMBER album by Bright Eyes, having just drawn the most twisted thing my mind could conceive and wallowing.


This cough is killing me, made my thoughts scrambled. I went downstairs and consumed a cocktail of medicines to fight this hacking and sneezing. The scariest thing is, I stood there and contemplated taking 12 too many aspirin and whatever lay in front of me. And then I thought. No. Don't do that.

What would I have lived for? WHAT DO I LIVE FOR NOW?