The inevitable has come to pass
I've lost my man card. In front of, and to Alex, no less. And the day was going quite well, too...
So, I was able to rally Ryan and Alex to the Aceyalone/Visionaries concert, the big night that we could let loose a bit, and for me to see HER (#1). It was going down pretty well, hadn't caught sight of her during the Visionaries set, and Alex and I wander outside after their performance. We see Erwin chillin outside, waiting for a way to get into the show. See, Erwin is the folks, and he's trying to sneak in because the rest of his folks are in there, including mine and Alex's "unicorns." Eventually, Alex scores Erwin a way in, because one of his friends is working the door. So we're all in now, and Erwin shows us the way to where THEY are. So shit, the storm is brewin. I locate Ryan, and now we're rockin steady to Ace-one, within distance from HERs (Alex and mine, respectively). The show rocks socks, and when it ended, we're all chillin in the lobby. Alex is 'wooing' his, and I'm smack dab in the eye of the storm of mine.
Little did I know, the family connection has surfaced as I had hoped it wouldnt: Eric Nedora is there, and Henry (Geno's homie) is there as well. I retardedly mention the Hiero pictures I'm going to develop for her...and then, the disaster hits. I fumble my words, trying not to look like some fool perpetrator moving in on a girl in the midst of her folks. I verbally dance around the subject of trying to get her number, fully aware that there are people here who've known me for as long as I've lived in Sac, and that connection can MAKE or BREAK me. All the while I'm stumbling over my words, Henry sees through me and says, "Why don't you just ask for her number, man." AND HE'S SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO HER. I don't even look her in the eyes; I've already been defeated. The next few words I say were the words of a man that momentarily lost dignity. EH. I didn't get her number, end of story.
I've explained it already, BUT I CAN'T FUNCTION UNDER PRESSURE. And that was like, 10 G of weight on my shoulder.
Half a year ago, Jaime and I claimed Alex's man card because of a similar situation, and now, karma strikes back, and I've lost mine to him. ARGH.
I'll live, but DAMN.
ICE COLD!
eh, who am I kidding. Damned EMO is leaking out again... I should have just stayed at Jen's, it was getting fun. The usual Thursday night crowd was there, the comfort zone was there. Alas, I've got priorities. Damned younger sister needs to CARPOOL her ass to school, I want to party and sleep in. Well whatever, I'm ranting and raving... see what a bombshell of a girl can do to one's thought processes? I find myself identifying with Alex everyday. EMO!
Friday, March 05, 2004
Tuesday, March 02, 2004
Fly little bird, as only your wings can send you
Fuck, its only Tuesday. What a way to get this week going. Yesterday was just the standard-fare-monday: school, 7 hours of work, a bit of chit-chatting with my classmate Terell before I headed out to make the money. He's a cool cat, might end up kicking it with him sooner or later outside of school.
Today, I got to hang out with Dave for a bit, get plans rolling for our history papers, and the normal talk. After talking to Dave, I headed over to Diana's and totally hung out with her for half an hour. On her bed. With her on it. OMG. It felt good to be around her again.
Oh, and I got several unexpected calls today, one of which from Shannon (former Connection staff-mate) telling me about a party at her and Pera's (!) place out in Chico. I want to go... but it's certain that Her #2 will be there. DILEMMA.
Another call was from Apple Computers about buying a warranty for my laptop (which will expire in a couple of days). Crap.
Later in the day, Alex called, and he eventually rolled by my place at late 7. We went to the store to get him a pack of smokes, Hollywood Video to 'surprise' Nolan, and eventually to Jen's kick it with Rob while Alex did his laundry there. And now. I've flown home, and I am still in the sky. Bye!
Fuck, its only Tuesday. What a way to get this week going. Yesterday was just the standard-fare-monday: school, 7 hours of work, a bit of chit-chatting with my classmate Terell before I headed out to make the money. He's a cool cat, might end up kicking it with him sooner or later outside of school.
Today, I got to hang out with Dave for a bit, get plans rolling for our history papers, and the normal talk. After talking to Dave, I headed over to Diana's and totally hung out with her for half an hour. On her bed. With her on it. OMG. It felt good to be around her again.
Oh, and I got several unexpected calls today, one of which from Shannon (former Connection staff-mate) telling me about a party at her and Pera's (!) place out in Chico. I want to go... but it's certain that Her #2 will be there. DILEMMA.
Another call was from Apple Computers about buying a warranty for my laptop (which will expire in a couple of days). Crap.
Later in the day, Alex called, and he eventually rolled by my place at late 7. We went to the store to get him a pack of smokes, Hollywood Video to 'surprise' Nolan, and eventually to Jen's kick it with Rob while Alex did his laundry there. And now. I've flown home, and I am still in the sky. Bye!
3, 2, 1, and the walls crumble
I'm caving. Every day is like a piece of my solid defensive wall is crashing down. And no, this is not a good sign of me becoming more open and communicative. THIS WILL BE THE HARBINGER OF INSANITY'S INVASION. I think, that once all these blocks of security I've built over the past, what... EIGHT YEARS? once they come down, I might just be a person you don't want to know...
Like, if my mind fell apart RIGHT NOW, I'd be a menacing bastard you wouldn't want to talk to. Curses, slurs, all that shit would just pour out of my mouth/mind in unintelligible, heated passion. ARGH.
I think I know why I'm feeling this way, too. It was probably Thursday night, when Diana gave me that look...like, she barely knew who I was...or didn't even recognize my existence. As I've mentioned, SHE is the only one right now who is the catalyst to my elation and trigger of my depravation. I'm going to try and give her a call this afternoon...my phone is finally working now... try and meet her, see her...get as much off my mind and my chest... something, ANYTHING. OMFG, the EMO is seeping back in.
...
...
...
I need a balance, a focal point of clarity in my life. RIGHT NOW. Since work started, and since my phone crapped out on me, my reality has been fragmented, disjoined, scattered. I don't know what I'm going to be doing in the near future, or how I'm going to do it. I'm forgetting THINGS way too easily now. My priorities are seriously whacked out. If only... if only I could get a clean slate, start things over. No debts of honor, no woes about the girl, no going back on my word, no compromises.
To think this day has been some kind of crazy mood-swing. Right now I'm ranting in these bitter and emo overtones, when in the morning I had felt really good about where I was and where I could be heading. Once again, attributed to my attachment to Her #4. See, I had a dream last night that focused on her #4 and I. I had made something for her, a piece of art of her, in which I immortalized my affection. I had woken up in bed next to her, a position that was fitting for a dream, and she had just found out about the art I had made of/for her. She was thrilled, and I was embarassed that she had found it in the first place. She snuggled in closer to me, it was obvious she was ecstatic about what I had made. Being the humble fool that I am, I kept praising her, and lowering myself to her beauty, etc etc. She says to me, "I love it," and lowers her lips to mine. I woke up about two times during that one dream, and each time I forced myself to go back to sleep just to finish the sequence. Alas, only the moment of the kiss played out, and I woke up look a fool in love. It is usually a sign of me falling for a girl if they show up in my dreams in romantic situations. It is a bad sign if a girl cameos during wild and raunchy pornographic dream sequences. Even worse if the girl appears in a horrible and scary fashion, it probably means I hate her guts.
I'm caving. Every day is like a piece of my solid defensive wall is crashing down. And no, this is not a good sign of me becoming more open and communicative. THIS WILL BE THE HARBINGER OF INSANITY'S INVASION. I think, that once all these blocks of security I've built over the past, what... EIGHT YEARS? once they come down, I might just be a person you don't want to know...
Like, if my mind fell apart RIGHT NOW, I'd be a menacing bastard you wouldn't want to talk to. Curses, slurs, all that shit would just pour out of my mouth/mind in unintelligible, heated passion. ARGH.
I think I know why I'm feeling this way, too. It was probably Thursday night, when Diana gave me that look...like, she barely knew who I was...or didn't even recognize my existence. As I've mentioned, SHE is the only one right now who is the catalyst to my elation and trigger of my depravation. I'm going to try and give her a call this afternoon...my phone is finally working now... try and meet her, see her...get as much off my mind and my chest... something, ANYTHING. OMFG, the EMO is seeping back in.
...
...
...
I need a balance, a focal point of clarity in my life. RIGHT NOW. Since work started, and since my phone crapped out on me, my reality has been fragmented, disjoined, scattered. I don't know what I'm going to be doing in the near future, or how I'm going to do it. I'm forgetting THINGS way too easily now. My priorities are seriously whacked out. If only... if only I could get a clean slate, start things over. No debts of honor, no woes about the girl, no going back on my word, no compromises.
To think this day has been some kind of crazy mood-swing. Right now I'm ranting in these bitter and emo overtones, when in the morning I had felt really good about where I was and where I could be heading. Once again, attributed to my attachment to Her #4. See, I had a dream last night that focused on her #4 and I. I had made something for her, a piece of art of her, in which I immortalized my affection. I had woken up in bed next to her, a position that was fitting for a dream, and she had just found out about the art I had made of/for her. She was thrilled, and I was embarassed that she had found it in the first place. She snuggled in closer to me, it was obvious she was ecstatic about what I had made. Being the humble fool that I am, I kept praising her, and lowering myself to her beauty, etc etc. She says to me, "I love it," and lowers her lips to mine. I woke up about two times during that one dream, and each time I forced myself to go back to sleep just to finish the sequence. Alas, only the moment of the kiss played out, and I woke up look a fool in love. It is usually a sign of me falling for a girl if they show up in my dreams in romantic situations. It is a bad sign if a girl cameos during wild and raunchy pornographic dream sequences. Even worse if the girl appears in a horrible and scary fashion, it probably means I hate her guts.
Sunday, February 29, 2004
Three days of mild mayhem
Thursday: Like a week or so back, Thursday played host to another kickback at Jens. It wasn't as action-packed as I hoped, but there were still a couple of cool moments to glean from that night. For a period of about 30 minutes, it was just me, Rob, and Pat as the only guys in the house. In this brief half-hour, the ratio of girl-to-guy was actually tipped in THEIR favor. Five girls, three guys. Holy moly. And not, like, barely-bonkable girls. Rob's former co-workers Erica & Jeanelle, their friend, and Diana & Cindy. We could have seriously had the dream orgy there. Hah. The rest of the night was just kickin it with the folks, drinking and smoking.
Friday: I opted not to work extra hours, because I was getting lazy. Instead, I just chilled at home. Being lazy. Jaime and Orlando came by for a bit, and later that night I eventually went out to meet up with the former sQuiD kids at Futami's in celebration of Ryan's coming birthday. In honor of my bestestest buddy's birthday, I take a shot of sake and drink some plum wine. Loosey-goosey. After dinner, Alex finally swings by, and we roll to Orlando's to kick it for the rest of the night. We try to plan for tomorrow, but nothing really came to mind.
Saturday: SQUAREone (continued). A rave. My first rave. It was pretty fun, considering the rave thing is not my scene. But it was coo nonetheless. The best part was that I was on the guestlist with most of my friends thanks to ol' boys Adam and Pat. The downer was that Ryan, Alex, Adam, and I weren't able to rock some live art in the rave as we had hoped. So now Adam's got a big piece of plywood that should have been painted on. However, it was a fun four hours or so of jumping around like I'm suffering from seizures, and smoking nearly a whole pack of Luckie Strikes. In FACT, we (Nolan, Ryan, Jaime, and I) were luckie bastards tonight, seeing as how we dodged the retribution of The Man tonight, but got to the rave late because of it (thus missing Nick's set, GRR).
Thursday: Like a week or so back, Thursday played host to another kickback at Jens. It wasn't as action-packed as I hoped, but there were still a couple of cool moments to glean from that night. For a period of about 30 minutes, it was just me, Rob, and Pat as the only guys in the house. In this brief half-hour, the ratio of girl-to-guy was actually tipped in THEIR favor. Five girls, three guys. Holy moly. And not, like, barely-bonkable girls. Rob's former co-workers Erica & Jeanelle, their friend, and Diana & Cindy. We could have seriously had the dream orgy there. Hah. The rest of the night was just kickin it with the folks, drinking and smoking.
Friday: I opted not to work extra hours, because I was getting lazy. Instead, I just chilled at home. Being lazy. Jaime and Orlando came by for a bit, and later that night I eventually went out to meet up with the former sQuiD kids at Futami's in celebration of Ryan's coming birthday. In honor of my bestestest buddy's birthday, I take a shot of sake and drink some plum wine. Loosey-goosey. After dinner, Alex finally swings by, and we roll to Orlando's to kick it for the rest of the night. We try to plan for tomorrow, but nothing really came to mind.
Saturday: SQUAREone (continued). A rave. My first rave. It was pretty fun, considering the rave thing is not my scene. But it was coo nonetheless. The best part was that I was on the guestlist with most of my friends thanks to ol' boys Adam and Pat. The downer was that Ryan, Alex, Adam, and I weren't able to rock some live art in the rave as we had hoped. So now Adam's got a big piece of plywood that should have been painted on. However, it was a fun four hours or so of jumping around like I'm suffering from seizures, and smoking nearly a whole pack of Luckie Strikes. In FACT, we (Nolan, Ryan, Jaime, and I) were luckie bastards tonight, seeing as how we dodged the retribution of The Man tonight, but got to the rave late because of it (thus missing Nick's set, GRR).
Friday, February 27, 2004
Monday, February 23, 2004
Cash Rules Everything Around Me
Work has started once more for me. A break in the otherwise monotonous routine these past six months. But now that I've got a job I can consider stable income for the next few months, all of these financial woes are starting to come up. How am I going to figure out my budget? What can I consider 'want to buy' and 'need to buy?' First things first: debt. I've got debts piled on in several different directions. Credit card bill (respark), car insurance, car repairs (?), loyalty dues to the homies, gas, cell phone. URGH. And then there's the projected spenditures in the coming months. Coachella, San Diego, Las Vegas. Lastly, below all the important things, there are the small things... they're not as essential to me trying to live my life, but they're much cheaper in single amounts (although the little things add up).
so here's the preliminary equation to figuring out the next few months: $8 base pay x 20 hours worked per week = $160 x 4 weeks a month = $640, deduct taxes -> ~$550 x 4 months of work = $2200 - $400 of car insurance pay during those 4 months = 1800 - $200 for Coachella= $1600 - $500 for SDCC = $1100 - $330 for website bill = $770 or so for miscellaneous expenses.
that's not even figuring in my goal of gettin a snowboard ($300+). i am SOOO doomed this year.
on the flip side, today was maddeningly sweet. although i slept in and didn't get up in time to meet up with Dave to study (sorry about that, bud), i dropped on campus at just the right moments to run into some cool folks. for one, i walked up to the main building with Daryl Watson, one of the cooler comic artists i know of locally. we chit-chatted real quick, and i headed over to wait for my class to start. while waiting, i give a brief holla at HER (identification of the various girls i refer to will be described sooner or later). as usual, we have one of those pass-you-down-the-hall kinds of meetings consisting of:
"hi, how are you doing?"
"good, how about you"
"blah blah blah?"
"yeah, blah blah"
the quickness of the moment was still satisfying enough.
after class, i finally meet up with dave in the union, and meet one of his friends artist friends, Victor. nice guy, this Victor. i spot Henry and Dewon and discuss the events that went down at Henry's party, and shared a slight account of the shenanigans at Rob's. Jaime and Ryan come by Dave's table, and we kick it for a bit. All in all, I stick around campus and get to hang out with Jaime, Ryan, Nolan, Van, Dave, and Jen. Not bad at all.
all the lounging about actually almost had me running late to the first day of work, but i still managed to get in right on time. during work, i was actually able to spot HER #5, who i did not expect to be at FTB once again. needless to say, i'm fairly hyped up about this season of working.
then, when i got home, i checked my friendster account, and lo & behold... i get a message back from HER #2. ugh, i should really figure out which HER is HER. hah.
Work has started once more for me. A break in the otherwise monotonous routine these past six months. But now that I've got a job I can consider stable income for the next few months, all of these financial woes are starting to come up. How am I going to figure out my budget? What can I consider 'want to buy' and 'need to buy?' First things first: debt. I've got debts piled on in several different directions. Credit card bill (respark), car insurance, car repairs (?), loyalty dues to the homies, gas, cell phone. URGH. And then there's the projected spenditures in the coming months. Coachella, San Diego, Las Vegas. Lastly, below all the important things, there are the small things... they're not as essential to me trying to live my life, but they're much cheaper in single amounts (although the little things add up).
so here's the preliminary equation to figuring out the next few months: $8 base pay x 20 hours worked per week = $160 x 4 weeks a month = $640, deduct taxes -> ~$550 x 4 months of work = $2200 - $400 of car insurance pay during those 4 months = 1800 - $200 for Coachella= $1600 - $500 for SDCC = $1100 - $330 for website bill = $770 or so for miscellaneous expenses.
that's not even figuring in my goal of gettin a snowboard ($300+). i am SOOO doomed this year.
on the flip side, today was maddeningly sweet. although i slept in and didn't get up in time to meet up with Dave to study (sorry about that, bud), i dropped on campus at just the right moments to run into some cool folks. for one, i walked up to the main building with Daryl Watson, one of the cooler comic artists i know of locally. we chit-chatted real quick, and i headed over to wait for my class to start. while waiting, i give a brief holla at HER (identification of the various girls i refer to will be described sooner or later). as usual, we have one of those pass-you-down-the-hall kinds of meetings consisting of:
"hi, how are you doing?"
"good, how about you"
"blah blah blah?"
"yeah, blah blah"
the quickness of the moment was still satisfying enough.
after class, i finally meet up with dave in the union, and meet one of his friends artist friends, Victor. nice guy, this Victor. i spot Henry and Dewon and discuss the events that went down at Henry's party, and shared a slight account of the shenanigans at Rob's. Jaime and Ryan come by Dave's table, and we kick it for a bit. All in all, I stick around campus and get to hang out with Jaime, Ryan, Nolan, Van, Dave, and Jen. Not bad at all.
all the lounging about actually almost had me running late to the first day of work, but i still managed to get in right on time. during work, i was actually able to spot HER #5, who i did not expect to be at FTB once again. needless to say, i'm fairly hyped up about this season of working.
then, when i got home, i checked my friendster account, and lo & behold... i get a message back from HER #2. ugh, i should really figure out which HER is HER. hah.
Sunday, February 22, 2004
Ok. So. I'm a bit high. . . ?
I'm mostly coming down from the height, but earlier, it was like a complete replay of the experience of induced euphoria during the cabin. The same kind of feeling of "awakening" with each moment I blink, as if I'm entering a new state of consciousness everytime I re-focus my eyes. Trippiness is the exact definition. And then I almost returned to that fucked cycle of obsessive-compulsive thoughts that kept repeating, "dude, these thoughts you're thinking are GENIOUS, you MUST write them down to share to the WORLD!"
haahaha.
After those distinct states of euphoria abated, I become less 'loose' with my senses. Simultaneous feelings of fatigue and minor attention of sensations assaulted my thougts. Cool. Now, I'm just in that general sphere of reality where everything feels distant and disjointed from the 'reality' you think you're perceiving. Fuck, when I read this in the morning I won't have a DAMN clue of what I'm describing. It's coo. I'MHIGHFOO.
I'm mostly coming down from the height, but earlier, it was like a complete replay of the experience of induced euphoria during the cabin. The same kind of feeling of "awakening" with each moment I blink, as if I'm entering a new state of consciousness everytime I re-focus my eyes. Trippiness is the exact definition. And then I almost returned to that fucked cycle of obsessive-compulsive thoughts that kept repeating, "dude, these thoughts you're thinking are GENIOUS, you MUST write them down to share to the WORLD!"
haahaha.
After those distinct states of euphoria abated, I become less 'loose' with my senses. Simultaneous feelings of fatigue and minor attention of sensations assaulted my thougts. Cool. Now, I'm just in that general sphere of reality where everything feels distant and disjointed from the 'reality' you think you're perceiving. Fuck, when I read this in the morning I won't have a DAMN clue of what I'm describing. It's coo. I'MHIGHFOO.
whaaaaaat?!??
so.
APE was the rockingest. Of course it doesn't top SDCC, right? No matter, this weekend so far has been chaotic, to say the least.
The night before the big-bad APE, a lot of HECTIC things went down, capped I by a late night visit to Rob's place, complete with a stealth escape from Frank (a.k.a. Orlando). The usual suspects were present, Jasmine/Kiel, Jamie, Jen (plus her co-worker Melissa), Ale Elexa, Rob, Nick, Savage, and Pat. Fun times, from plans getting scheduled and re-scheduled on the fly, to wildness at the Davidson's. First, Van, Jaime, and I went out to a suck-ass 'Mexican' restaurant. It's called Vientos, don't go there. Afterward, we played a bit of phone-tag with Ryan and Ron, resulting in us (Van+Jaime+me) heading back to my place and later meeting up with Ron + Ryan + Orlando + Sherly at Urban Cafe. We chilled outside; the first of Jaime's cigars are blazed. Afterward, Ron + Van + Jaime + Ron roll out to Borders' shopping plaza, to chill in front of Aloha Sushi. In time, we see Cindy pop out of Borders with some of her friends, after which we shoot the breeze with her. Eventually, the four of us are on the way home, which turned out to be only half the night (and it was only midnight). When I get home, I'm told there's a little kickback at Rob's. SWEET. Although I thought Jaime didn't want to go, I learn that he does go out, and I, fresh out of the shower, rush my ass over to chilllll. Frank took over that night and snuck out to live it up as well. I get home at well past 3 am.
The next morning, was the quasi-unexpected trip to APE. I awoke to the sounds of rocks thrown at my window at a good 9:30am. Ryan and Jaime have come to pick me up to head out to San Fran. BODACIOUS. So we head out, after a oil-change and gas-up. We truck it to Hilltop, and stop to get lunch. Three McChickens, please...capitalist slave! We finally make it to the Bay City, luckily surviving the trek up the foothills. APE was a blast, saw some cool indy talents, Jaime drank a gin & tonic at 3pm, I met BECKY CLOONAN, the Jet Rag monkey cats, Amador, the guys behind Hamburger Eyes, Jim Mahfood, and random other indy consters. I managed to walk away with Demo #1-4, a large print of Becky's work, a DEMO patch, and a pin-up & movie poster of Hellboy. RADICAL. After parting ways with the hairy APE at about 5pm (and that really hot girl that walked around the con), the boys were back in town. Ryan, Jaime, and I, met up with "Frank" for a meal at TK at around 7. Num-num. We split ways with Ryan, and Frank, Jaime & I try to make it to Skip's to buy a guitar. No go. With no options left for now, we return to my place, only to find I am locked out. An hour or so later, my sister shows up to open the garage so we can get in. With much deliberation over trying to head out to Henry's for a party/kickback, we instead make our way back to Robert's once more. Once again, the same cool-kid crowd have met up, but this time, I AM PREPARED. With my camera within access, I was able to capture randomly great moments. From the gratuitous booty shots, to the embarrasing shots of me in an "elevated" state of mind, the BLACKMAIL is prime. Although Frank and Jaime left early, the fun kept rolling, until I decided to leave at 3am. Unfortunately, I'm most likely missing much more.
P.S.: we forgot to bring Alex to APE! D'oh!
P.P.S.: I'm flying! WOOOOO! ok, gnite.
so.
APE was the rockingest. Of course it doesn't top SDCC, right? No matter, this weekend so far has been chaotic, to say the least.
The night before the big-bad APE, a lot of HECTIC things went down, capped I by a late night visit to Rob's place, complete with a stealth escape from Frank (a.k.a. Orlando). The usual suspects were present, Jasmine/Kiel, Jamie, Jen (plus her co-worker Melissa), Ale Elexa, Rob, Nick, Savage, and Pat. Fun times, from plans getting scheduled and re-scheduled on the fly, to wildness at the Davidson's. First, Van, Jaime, and I went out to a suck-ass 'Mexican' restaurant. It's called Vientos, don't go there. Afterward, we played a bit of phone-tag with Ryan and Ron, resulting in us (Van+Jaime+me) heading back to my place and later meeting up with Ron + Ryan + Orlando + Sherly at Urban Cafe. We chilled outside; the first of Jaime's cigars are blazed. Afterward, Ron + Van + Jaime + Ron roll out to Borders' shopping plaza, to chill in front of Aloha Sushi. In time, we see Cindy pop out of Borders with some of her friends, after which we shoot the breeze with her. Eventually, the four of us are on the way home, which turned out to be only half the night (and it was only midnight). When I get home, I'm told there's a little kickback at Rob's. SWEET. Although I thought Jaime didn't want to go, I learn that he does go out, and I, fresh out of the shower, rush my ass over to chilllll. Frank took over that night and snuck out to live it up as well. I get home at well past 3 am.
The next morning, was the quasi-unexpected trip to APE. I awoke to the sounds of rocks thrown at my window at a good 9:30am. Ryan and Jaime have come to pick me up to head out to San Fran. BODACIOUS. So we head out, after a oil-change and gas-up. We truck it to Hilltop, and stop to get lunch. Three McChickens, please...capitalist slave! We finally make it to the Bay City, luckily surviving the trek up the foothills. APE was a blast, saw some cool indy talents, Jaime drank a gin & tonic at 3pm, I met BECKY CLOONAN, the Jet Rag monkey cats, Amador, the guys behind Hamburger Eyes, Jim Mahfood, and random other indy consters. I managed to walk away with Demo #1-4, a large print of Becky's work, a DEMO patch, and a pin-up & movie poster of Hellboy. RADICAL. After parting ways with the hairy APE at about 5pm (and that really hot girl that walked around the con), the boys were back in town. Ryan, Jaime, and I, met up with "Frank" for a meal at TK at around 7. Num-num. We split ways with Ryan, and Frank, Jaime & I try to make it to Skip's to buy a guitar. No go. With no options left for now, we return to my place, only to find I am locked out. An hour or so later, my sister shows up to open the garage so we can get in. With much deliberation over trying to head out to Henry's for a party/kickback, we instead make our way back to Robert's once more. Once again, the same cool-kid crowd have met up, but this time, I AM PREPARED. With my camera within access, I was able to capture randomly great moments. From the gratuitous booty shots, to the embarrasing shots of me in an "elevated" state of mind, the BLACKMAIL is prime. Although Frank and Jaime left early, the fun kept rolling, until I decided to leave at 3am. Unfortunately, I'm most likely missing much more.
P.S.: we forgot to bring Alex to APE! D'oh!
P.P.S.: I'm flying! WOOOOO! ok, gnite.
Saturday, February 21, 2004
Wednesday, February 18, 2004
Seems just about right
Dead-end theories of things I love to hate
There's nothing like seeing your face, your smile, on a daily basis.
Hell, if I saw you once in a year, that feeling will not have been erased.
When you give me that look, however brief or protracted, I am simultaneously destroyed and rebuilt.
It's a sin what I think of you sometimes, but I can seriously live with that guilt.
In my mind's eye, I can remember every detail, the minute features that make you what you are and unique.
I'm a devil, you're an angel, it's chaotic cacophony when I think, melodic symphony when you speak.
There's nothing about you that I don't love, but it's what I become that I hate.
A walking catastrophe, absent-minded, my thoughts register too little, too late.
What is this that you've done to me? What voodo did you do, did you do?
My waking moments are filled with images of you constantly.
Ambiguity is the rule to the way that we play this game.
Lucidity is what I want, and it's that fact that's the real shame.
Existence is vapid and shallow at this lowest of lows, and my hopes are rapid and fleeting like death throes.
FUCK the doubt, fuck the dark history, fuck friendship and it's benefits and gains.
I AM THE BULLET, YOU ARE THE TRIGGER, POINT THE BARREL AT MY HEAD AND BLOW OUT MY BRAINS.
Dead-end theories of things I love to hate
There's nothing like seeing your face, your smile, on a daily basis.
Hell, if I saw you once in a year, that feeling will not have been erased.
When you give me that look, however brief or protracted, I am simultaneously destroyed and rebuilt.
It's a sin what I think of you sometimes, but I can seriously live with that guilt.
In my mind's eye, I can remember every detail, the minute features that make you what you are and unique.
I'm a devil, you're an angel, it's chaotic cacophony when I think, melodic symphony when you speak.
There's nothing about you that I don't love, but it's what I become that I hate.
A walking catastrophe, absent-minded, my thoughts register too little, too late.
What is this that you've done to me? What voodo did you do, did you do?
My waking moments are filled with images of you constantly.
Ambiguity is the rule to the way that we play this game.
Lucidity is what I want, and it's that fact that's the real shame.
Existence is vapid and shallow at this lowest of lows, and my hopes are rapid and fleeting like death throes.
FUCK the doubt, fuck the dark history, fuck friendship and it's benefits and gains.
I AM THE BULLET, YOU ARE THE TRIGGER, POINT THE BARREL AT MY HEAD AND BLOW OUT MY BRAINS.
Sunday, February 15, 2004
Valentines didn't turn out as uneventful as I thought. I ended up rolling out to Dobhie's house, since that's where most of the adults went to gamble. They had an ample supply of food to eat, which was good enough to keep me occupied. The cool part was that I was able to drive my dad over there in the MERCEDES. Hell yeah. Geno and Dobhie were there that night, and they told me that there was actually something to do on Friday night. Too bad my phone had died early on Friday, and I was unable to give him a call about it.
Hm. So Sunday has shaped up to be another surprising day in a string of days that have...well, surprised me. Went to church, big woop. BUT, being at church is always something to look forward, if only to spy on the really hot girls that go there. But this Sunday took the fuckin cake when it comes to a church day that has THE HOTNESS. For one, I spotted a cute girl that's also my classmate. Rad.
And then...as the offering is about to moved up to the priest at the altar, I see HER. (I'm sorry if I'm starting to confuse you readers with my many references to a "HER") This is not the same girl as I have ranted about before, this is the long standing Crush of all Crushes, dating back from AT LEAST 8th grade back in Samuel Jackman Middle School.
Ok, so she is bringing up the offering, and I could barely comprehend the moment, as I was sincerely DUMBFOUNDED by seeing her here, of all days, of all places, of all times.
I picked up my jaw and reinserted it with my mouth, and quickly shook the dumbfoundedness off. This girl is the queen supreme of my dreams, she physically and personally blends the best things I like. As she walked past my aisle to return to her pew, I kind of give a quick glance up, but just as quickly duck low so that maybe she doesn't see me as she walks within a mere two feet of my position.
Church mass ends, and I make my way out, hoping to get home as quickly as possible to shake off the feeling of just SEEING HER. You see, I have been communicating with this girl recently by way of Friendster. And even through this rudimentary form, I can still sense how rad she is after all these years. Sadly, I'm still too pussy to even TRY to get a number or a more personal way of talking to her. Actually, I'm just hoping that one day soon, I will genuinely bump into her somewhere out there, and we will have a grand conversation in which I can gain her number in a worthy fashion.
But anyway, I wait outside for the rest of my family to filter out, and this girl has already gotten in her car and is leaving the parking lot. My dad is right behind her car in our mercedes, and I look towards him, but catch her eye. She gives me a quick wave and that beautiful smile, and I return it. My existence has temporarily been validated.
Enough of that.
After the hub-bub of church, I was finally able to get to the important work at hand: designing websites. So far, I've just about finished respark's main site. For now, this page will be every visitor's welcome, with more content to be added as I figure it out what to add.
Somewhere during the day, Elissa gave me a ring to tell me that she, along with her sister Arlene, are to stop by my place. Arlene had a research paper to work on which involved my participation in a survey. Cool enough.
Later during the night, I got a call from Jun, telling me the things I've been waiting for since Friday. He scored me two things I requested of him. PROPS homeboy.
Now, I'm once again neglecting webdesign work, and randomly lollygagging online with my peers, one of whom I'm giving some pointers when it comes to sequential art. Yay. Too bad some of the key people I'd hope to be online right now AREN'T on. WAY too many people leave their away messages up.
Hm. So Sunday has shaped up to be another surprising day in a string of days that have...well, surprised me. Went to church, big woop. BUT, being at church is always something to look forward, if only to spy on the really hot girls that go there. But this Sunday took the fuckin cake when it comes to a church day that has THE HOTNESS. For one, I spotted a cute girl that's also my classmate. Rad.
And then...as the offering is about to moved up to the priest at the altar, I see HER. (I'm sorry if I'm starting to confuse you readers with my many references to a "HER") This is not the same girl as I have ranted about before, this is the long standing Crush of all Crushes, dating back from AT LEAST 8th grade back in Samuel Jackman Middle School.
Ok, so she is bringing up the offering, and I could barely comprehend the moment, as I was sincerely DUMBFOUNDED by seeing her here, of all days, of all places, of all times.
I picked up my jaw and reinserted it with my mouth, and quickly shook the dumbfoundedness off. This girl is the queen supreme of my dreams, she physically and personally blends the best things I like. As she walked past my aisle to return to her pew, I kind of give a quick glance up, but just as quickly duck low so that maybe she doesn't see me as she walks within a mere two feet of my position.
Church mass ends, and I make my way out, hoping to get home as quickly as possible to shake off the feeling of just SEEING HER. You see, I have been communicating with this girl recently by way of Friendster. And even through this rudimentary form, I can still sense how rad she is after all these years. Sadly, I'm still too pussy to even TRY to get a number or a more personal way of talking to her. Actually, I'm just hoping that one day soon, I will genuinely bump into her somewhere out there, and we will have a grand conversation in which I can gain her number in a worthy fashion.
But anyway, I wait outside for the rest of my family to filter out, and this girl has already gotten in her car and is leaving the parking lot. My dad is right behind her car in our mercedes, and I look towards him, but catch her eye. She gives me a quick wave and that beautiful smile, and I return it. My existence has temporarily been validated.
Enough of that.
After the hub-bub of church, I was finally able to get to the important work at hand: designing websites. So far, I've just about finished respark's main site. For now, this page will be every visitor's welcome, with more content to be added as I figure it out what to add.
Somewhere during the day, Elissa gave me a ring to tell me that she, along with her sister Arlene, are to stop by my place. Arlene had a research paper to work on which involved my participation in a survey. Cool enough.
Later during the night, I got a call from Jun, telling me the things I've been waiting for since Friday. He scored me two things I requested of him. PROPS homeboy.
Now, I'm once again neglecting webdesign work, and randomly lollygagging online with my peers, one of whom I'm giving some pointers when it comes to sequential art. Yay. Too bad some of the key people I'd hope to be online right now AREN'T on. WAY too many people leave their away messages up.
Saturday, February 14, 2004
Happy Valentines Day, fuckers
So this is the infamous day, and I have successfully dodged the possibilities of my further humiliation. One year ago, I went out on a date with the girl I thought could be THE ONE, or at least, THE ONE until I actually found the real deal holyfield. All was well with the date, until I did something that forever changed the course of that night and our relationship. I broke my 6 CD changer. This event led to all kinds of fucked up shit, from her ex-boyfriend joining us on that date to me eventually not wanting to see her for a while, and then her randomly showing up and resparking a retardedly doomed thing. BAH.
This year, I saw the omens far ahead of time, I knew what I could do and what I HAD TO DO. As far back as before the cabin-trip, I knew I was recklessly hurtling to this day: Valentine's Day. I even referred to this day many blogger entries ago, that in the struggle of love between man and woman, Valentines Day was the inevitable D-Day for the war's turning point.
The difference in this year was even more clear as the V-Day approached. Thursday was a good day, TOO good a day. It was our official end of the week, as my school had Friday and the coming Monday marked as holidays. That night, there was a party/BBQ at Jen's house, where it was essentially the usual crowd, dominantly male and mostly single. Alex was already feeling the grasp of Valentines dark side, where the depression of singlehood can feel like there is no bottom. I was at that edge with him, but at the same time stradling the opposite side: risking my dignity and actually going on a date with a girl who's I'm starting to see as a representation of THE ONE. But Thursday was the HIGH point of this horrible period of time. Friday would come to be the nail in the coffin.
For once, the old gang was almost fully assembled: Ryan was driver, Orlando/Frank had come out of hiding, Jaime was the legal representative, and Alex and I were there for the ride...or I thought. Alex was still in the throes of sickness, but came along with us; I had hoped his addition to the party mobile would prove this Friday to be a great night to be out. FUCK, were we wrong. As we strolled into the downtown maze, all was quiet, eerily quiet. Infusion, a new cafe that opened up a few weeks back, was desolate. We tried getting in touch with friends who could point us to a fun thing to do: no dice. We dropped by Hollywood Video to see Nolan, still no idea what to do. We headed back to my house to re-coup. Nothing. So we end up getting a call from Nolan on his way out of work. We chill in the shopping plaza parking lot, still coming up with a plan of action on this, yet ANOTHER "Fun Friday." It seemed the entire city had slept for that night.
Finally, the option was taken to go to Mr. Perry's to have a late snack and hang-out. Lo and behold, Perry's was the busiest place this night.
Luckily, Mr. Chris Lee was there to surprise us with his presence, and we ended up just hanging out shooting the breeze from that point on.
And now, it is Saturday, St. Valentine's day. It's 6:40, and I am doing nothing. Have I succeeded in evading a possible replay of last year? Or have I failed to drive myself out of this rut? Maybe I'll figure that out in the coming days.
So this is the infamous day, and I have successfully dodged the possibilities of my further humiliation. One year ago, I went out on a date with the girl I thought could be THE ONE, or at least, THE ONE until I actually found the real deal holyfield. All was well with the date, until I did something that forever changed the course of that night and our relationship. I broke my 6 CD changer. This event led to all kinds of fucked up shit, from her ex-boyfriend joining us on that date to me eventually not wanting to see her for a while, and then her randomly showing up and resparking a retardedly doomed thing. BAH.
This year, I saw the omens far ahead of time, I knew what I could do and what I HAD TO DO. As far back as before the cabin-trip, I knew I was recklessly hurtling to this day: Valentine's Day. I even referred to this day many blogger entries ago, that in the struggle of love between man and woman, Valentines Day was the inevitable D-Day for the war's turning point.
The difference in this year was even more clear as the V-Day approached. Thursday was a good day, TOO good a day. It was our official end of the week, as my school had Friday and the coming Monday marked as holidays. That night, there was a party/BBQ at Jen's house, where it was essentially the usual crowd, dominantly male and mostly single. Alex was already feeling the grasp of Valentines dark side, where the depression of singlehood can feel like there is no bottom. I was at that edge with him, but at the same time stradling the opposite side: risking my dignity and actually going on a date with a girl who's I'm starting to see as a representation of THE ONE. But Thursday was the HIGH point of this horrible period of time. Friday would come to be the nail in the coffin.
For once, the old gang was almost fully assembled: Ryan was driver, Orlando/Frank had come out of hiding, Jaime was the legal representative, and Alex and I were there for the ride...or I thought. Alex was still in the throes of sickness, but came along with us; I had hoped his addition to the party mobile would prove this Friday to be a great night to be out. FUCK, were we wrong. As we strolled into the downtown maze, all was quiet, eerily quiet. Infusion, a new cafe that opened up a few weeks back, was desolate. We tried getting in touch with friends who could point us to a fun thing to do: no dice. We dropped by Hollywood Video to see Nolan, still no idea what to do. We headed back to my house to re-coup. Nothing. So we end up getting a call from Nolan on his way out of work. We chill in the shopping plaza parking lot, still coming up with a plan of action on this, yet ANOTHER "Fun Friday." It seemed the entire city had slept for that night.
Finally, the option was taken to go to Mr. Perry's to have a late snack and hang-out. Lo and behold, Perry's was the busiest place this night.
Luckily, Mr. Chris Lee was there to surprise us with his presence, and we ended up just hanging out shooting the breeze from that point on.
And now, it is Saturday, St. Valentine's day. It's 6:40, and I am doing nothing. Have I succeeded in evading a possible replay of last year? Or have I failed to drive myself out of this rut? Maybe I'll figure that out in the coming days.
Thursday, February 12, 2004
FUCKSHITASSFUUUUCK
I just checked my bank account online, and I've got the bill for buying respark.net... $333.60. HOLYSHIT. Help, anyone?
Hahaha, don't worry about it. I've got a meager amount of savings in there, which means I'll be throwing in the minimum for a while. Until I get a job, that is. If not... I AM SO FUCKING SCREWED UP THE ASS.
So, the belt is going to have to be tightened from here on out, every penny pinched. Whatever pitance I get will go straight to the bank, to keep me afloat above the dark depths of Davy Jones' locker of bad credit rating.
On the bright side, my risky venture has some signs of worth, as I think I was able to recruit (with the immense help of Travis/Diabolicol) this talented mofo that goes by the alias Fel.
Also, my mentor and hero Wil (dub317) has resurfaced, with a new site in the works. We had a pretty cool convo goin on tonight, in which he urged me to make a photoshop tutorial for him. Imagine that, my old mentor is asking me to teach him a thing or two. That's crazy.
But eh, the dreaded Valentines is fast approaching, and I'm out of viable options to consciously dodge that night. Will I cave and ask this certain girl out? Or will I stay ice cold and try to find a party to drown away the memory of last year's horrible date? (Please refer to blog entry 2/09/2003-2/15/2003)
I sure as hell can't try to go spend-crazy this time around.
I should really get off this before I forget about the many projects I've got to get out of the way. Ta-ta.
I just checked my bank account online, and I've got the bill for buying respark.net... $333.60. HOLYSHIT. Help, anyone?
Hahaha, don't worry about it. I've got a meager amount of savings in there, which means I'll be throwing in the minimum for a while. Until I get a job, that is. If not... I AM SO FUCKING SCREWED UP THE ASS.
So, the belt is going to have to be tightened from here on out, every penny pinched. Whatever pitance I get will go straight to the bank, to keep me afloat above the dark depths of Davy Jones' locker of bad credit rating.
On the bright side, my risky venture has some signs of worth, as I think I was able to recruit (with the immense help of Travis/Diabolicol) this talented mofo that goes by the alias Fel.
Also, my mentor and hero Wil (dub317) has resurfaced, with a new site in the works. We had a pretty cool convo goin on tonight, in which he urged me to make a photoshop tutorial for him. Imagine that, my old mentor is asking me to teach him a thing or two. That's crazy.
But eh, the dreaded Valentines is fast approaching, and I'm out of viable options to consciously dodge that night. Will I cave and ask this certain girl out? Or will I stay ice cold and try to find a party to drown away the memory of last year's horrible date? (Please refer to blog entry 2/09/2003-2/15/2003)
I sure as hell can't try to go spend-crazy this time around.
I should really get off this before I forget about the many projects I've got to get out of the way. Ta-ta.
Tuesday, February 10, 2004
Monday, February 09, 2004
Ho-ly shit. I was 'lucky' enough to bump into HER on my tardy way to class this morning. I was somewhat jittery, but I can attribute that to the fact that it was quite cold at the time. But yeah, we exchanged a bit of small talk, glad that she recognized me. well, its not like it was hard to do so, since I gave her a surprised look and slightly exclaimed, "Oh hey! It's you." Smooth man, real smooth. anyway. SHE TOTALLY ROCKS MY WORLD. except I have NOFUCKINCHANCE at her. it's okay, everyone is entitled to their dream.
Speaking of dreams, when I got home, I took a mid-day nap, because I had nothing better to do (and I was waiting for the DNS to finally load my goddamned account). Within the nap I had, was probably one of the oddest vibed dreams I've had in recent memory. It was winter in the mountains, possibly the next cabin trip with the friends. The same crowd was present, plus Alex. In one moment, I am happily enjoying the outdoors with 'the girl,' (not the same one mentioned earlier in this post) when I ultimately foul up the blissfulness of our time together. I think we were lightly rough-housing, when she pushes me back a bit. I push her back, and taunt her to come at me. She does so, with this angelic smile on her face. Instead, I actually let her playfully pounce on me, but I counter her momentum and viciously toss her aside. I smiled briefly, with all the childish whim of a school-yard bully. She, rising slowly from the ground, flashes me this glance of pure hatred and dispondent loathing. I realize the stupidity of what I had just done, but it was too late. She got up, wiped the tears forming from those beautiful big eyes of hers, and runs off back to the cabin. I try to chase, but she's ahead of me and inside. When I reach the cabin, I ask my cabin-mates where she's gone, but all they tell me is that she came in and ran outside through another door, crying. FUCK!
I catch up to her outside, where shes leaning against the wall, with her back to me. I try to approach quietly, and slowly whisper her name, trying to show that I'm truly and deeply sorry. She's still crying, and tells me to go away (or rather, to "Fuck Off"). I come closer, and put my hand on her back, rubbing it, to give her a sense of assurance of my genuine intentions. She gives me a slight glance, but still won't accept my presence. I grab both of her shoulders and try to turn her towards me, to face me and look me square in the eyes. TO UNDERSTAND THAT I CARE AND HOW MUCH I WANT TO REGAIN HER TRUST AND FORGIVENESS. I try to explain, with all kinds of worthless excuses, and she quiets them all when she tells me, "You really hurt me, I never expected you to hurt me." CRAP. I start sputtering how much I care and that I'd never intentionally hurt her, and I can see that her coldness is starting to soften. Somewhere in my stammering, I must have slipped in the forbidden words of "I," "Love," and/or "You." At that point, I am essentially professing my hidden love for her. She now knows this.
A voice from inside the cabin calls out, and my attention is divided for a fraction of a moment. But in that slight frame of time, something happens that even my own mind (which created the dream) could not understand. My head is turned towards the door I left open, but she grabs my face and pulls me in close. Her lips, those insatiable lips, closes in on mine, and in an instant she is kissing me. I am stunned momentarily, but it does not take me long to realize that THIS is what I've always wanted. We're kissing, and it feels better than anything I could imagine in real or fantasy. And then it stops.
More people are calling out for us, and possibly looking for me or her. We look towards the sound of their voices, hesitant that they might come upon this moment. Instead, I lift my hand towards hers, assuring her that it's ok, fuck what they think. I tell her, "don't worry about them." We kiss once more, and then...
DAMMIT, I wake up.
FUCKFUCKSHITFUCK.
Speaking of dreams, when I got home, I took a mid-day nap, because I had nothing better to do (and I was waiting for the DNS to finally load my goddamned account). Within the nap I had, was probably one of the oddest vibed dreams I've had in recent memory. It was winter in the mountains, possibly the next cabin trip with the friends. The same crowd was present, plus Alex. In one moment, I am happily enjoying the outdoors with 'the girl,' (not the same one mentioned earlier in this post) when I ultimately foul up the blissfulness of our time together. I think we were lightly rough-housing, when she pushes me back a bit. I push her back, and taunt her to come at me. She does so, with this angelic smile on her face. Instead, I actually let her playfully pounce on me, but I counter her momentum and viciously toss her aside. I smiled briefly, with all the childish whim of a school-yard bully. She, rising slowly from the ground, flashes me this glance of pure hatred and dispondent loathing. I realize the stupidity of what I had just done, but it was too late. She got up, wiped the tears forming from those beautiful big eyes of hers, and runs off back to the cabin. I try to chase, but she's ahead of me and inside. When I reach the cabin, I ask my cabin-mates where she's gone, but all they tell me is that she came in and ran outside through another door, crying. FUCK!
I catch up to her outside, where shes leaning against the wall, with her back to me. I try to approach quietly, and slowly whisper her name, trying to show that I'm truly and deeply sorry. She's still crying, and tells me to go away (or rather, to "Fuck Off"). I come closer, and put my hand on her back, rubbing it, to give her a sense of assurance of my genuine intentions. She gives me a slight glance, but still won't accept my presence. I grab both of her shoulders and try to turn her towards me, to face me and look me square in the eyes. TO UNDERSTAND THAT I CARE AND HOW MUCH I WANT TO REGAIN HER TRUST AND FORGIVENESS. I try to explain, with all kinds of worthless excuses, and she quiets them all when she tells me, "You really hurt me, I never expected you to hurt me." CRAP. I start sputtering how much I care and that I'd never intentionally hurt her, and I can see that her coldness is starting to soften. Somewhere in my stammering, I must have slipped in the forbidden words of "I," "Love," and/or "You." At that point, I am essentially professing my hidden love for her. She now knows this.
A voice from inside the cabin calls out, and my attention is divided for a fraction of a moment. But in that slight frame of time, something happens that even my own mind (which created the dream) could not understand. My head is turned towards the door I left open, but she grabs my face and pulls me in close. Her lips, those insatiable lips, closes in on mine, and in an instant she is kissing me. I am stunned momentarily, but it does not take me long to realize that THIS is what I've always wanted. We're kissing, and it feels better than anything I could imagine in real or fantasy. And then it stops.
More people are calling out for us, and possibly looking for me or her. We look towards the sound of their voices, hesitant that they might come upon this moment. Instead, I lift my hand towards hers, assuring her that it's ok, fuck what they think. I tell her, "don't worry about them." We kiss once more, and then...
DAMMIT, I wake up.
FUCKFUCKSHITFUCK.
Wild Nights
Friday may have been just another lame Friday for some, and in truth, it could have very well been one for me. Rather, my Friday was spent in an old 'past-time' that me my group of friends enjoy: REVELRY. That night was host to a party of such harrowing magnitude that has not been seen since the week-long fun-fest of this year's cabin trip. Think of it this way, the only person that WASN'T intoxicated in any way was NOLAN. That, my friends, is saying alot, as he did not even partake of the "chief" as Alex puts it (and oddly, he's the ONLY one I know who puts it that way). It started off with a few phone calls the day before, giving me word that Diana was hosting Cindy's 21st birthday at her place. Within minutes of me being told about it from the lady herself, I was semi-bombarded with queries from a couple of people about the party. I am not one to start or instigate drama, but somehow, I knew I would be in the fuckin THICK of it by attending. Lo and behold, I was the agent of such dramatics that I am somewhat regretting my actions.
Okay, Friday night, I meet up with Alex at his apartment, looking to kill some time before the scheduled 11pm party start. After a few minutes of deliberation, we could not find anything action-packed enough to sate our boredom. It seemed like our night would replay into another one of those "Fun" Fridays. Already, we're heading towards the inevitable insanity that was to come. He and I stop by Adam's place, to chill and get our slack on. We grab a six-pack of Sierra to spark the early buzz and play eighty or so games of Tekken. Before we know it, 11PM is rolling by, and it is nearly time that the party is to start. And so the quandary becomes clear: Will Adam go to Cindy's party with us? OHSHIT, that would be CRAZY. For those not in the general know, Adam and Cindy were together for quite a bit a while back. I would not say they are on the best footing with one another. The possibility is considered, and Alex and I urge Adam to attend, with the most malicious of grins on us. Essentially, we thought we could at least score some shock-value, as in, "Holy shit, Adam is here!" Instead, I chose to forego the 'surprise' guest appearance of Adam, and minded the sentiments of Diana and Cindy. I give Dee a call, asking if I could speak to Cindy. Being the 'insider' that I am, I would use my standing as being good friends of both Diana and Cindy to work the situation to our advantage. Knowing that Cindy was questioning inviting Adam in the first place, I knew that she could not refuse, on this the day of her birthday. BIMBAM, she says yes, after hesitantly asking Diana if it's ok.
SCORE! I have just bought Adam a ticket into a party we knew would be crazy. It was the beginning of the semester, parties aren't exactly abundant around here, so anything we would come across was guaranteed to be unique in it's own way.
And so it was. Although I stopped at around "Round 2," I remember that the others got to at least "Round 5." Diana's balcony was once again home to the smokers of the party, which comprised of more than half the kids there. Roberta and her brother Eli were there, as well as Jen, Rob, Nick, and Pat. Jaime rolled with Ron, and Jasmine & Kiel were present as well. A friend or two of Diana's made late appearances, and Nolan came right after his shift ended at work. As usual, Eli provided the veteran experience of concocting drinks, while the rest of the kids lounged about getting increasingly inebriated with each passing hour. At the height of the festivities, almost half the people at this small kick-back were lit, and all but one person was at least buzzed. For a while, Nolan and Jen went AWOL in the direction of the swings, and five of us wandered out to the park looking for those same swings. Nick was the unofficial champion of liquor drinking, as I had not seen him stop once when it came to taking shots. Kiel was quite elevated, but his liquor consumption was fairly low that night, thankfully. Alex was hit pretty badly when it came to the liquor, as he had not drunken this much lately. It also didn't help that his Ms. B. declined his drunken offer to stop by the party. At the peak of the night's drunkeness, the DRAMA that I inadverdently caused had reached an inescapable crescendo. Adam and Cindy were faded at this time, and I had watched them engage in mild small talk, all the signs of amiable conversation. At this point, I spotted something that I knew would happen: they were re-enacting signs of lovey-dovey mushy shit, full-on cuddle/embrace mode. In my mind, the words OHSHITOHSHITOHSHIT recycled endlessly. Not many people put too much attention in this, since they were all caught up in their stupors, and what was I supposed to do? I played it cool, hoping that this would not escalate into very loud WHATHEFUCK's. Hell, I had warned Adam of this earlier, and tried to make the point clear. NO HANKYPANKY, this is a casual 'friend-zone' party! Alas, my fear had come to pass, and to top it, Diana walks past them on the couch, and is still coherent enough to finally see this and says with a surly, yet reprimanding voice, "Whats THIS?"
Shiiiiiiit.
All in all, there wasn't any major hitches, Alex didn't get into any fights as he had forewarned, thank heavens. The most concern I had to express over my compatriots was towards Pat, who kept asking people to slap him. He's an odd drunk. By the time 4am rolled by, I was reasonably clear-headed, and Ron was just as sober, as he had stopped drinking at the same round as me. Jaime gave me back my keys, since Ron and I entrusted our keys to him earlier in the night. Nick and Kiel played hockey on Diana's pool table, and unfortunately Dee was at the point that she was either up or out. She was out when they were playing hockey. Alex crashed on the round chair, only to awaken with Jen and Jasmine curled in the couch with him. Much to Pat and Kiel's encouragement/dismay. The party eventually filtered out, and I over-shot my initial plan of getting home by 3am. Oh well, that's the 'party' life. Hah.
Friday may have been just another lame Friday for some, and in truth, it could have very well been one for me. Rather, my Friday was spent in an old 'past-time' that me my group of friends enjoy: REVELRY. That night was host to a party of such harrowing magnitude that has not been seen since the week-long fun-fest of this year's cabin trip. Think of it this way, the only person that WASN'T intoxicated in any way was NOLAN. That, my friends, is saying alot, as he did not even partake of the "chief" as Alex puts it (and oddly, he's the ONLY one I know who puts it that way). It started off with a few phone calls the day before, giving me word that Diana was hosting Cindy's 21st birthday at her place. Within minutes of me being told about it from the lady herself, I was semi-bombarded with queries from a couple of people about the party. I am not one to start or instigate drama, but somehow, I knew I would be in the fuckin THICK of it by attending. Lo and behold, I was the agent of such dramatics that I am somewhat regretting my actions.
Okay, Friday night, I meet up with Alex at his apartment, looking to kill some time before the scheduled 11pm party start. After a few minutes of deliberation, we could not find anything action-packed enough to sate our boredom. It seemed like our night would replay into another one of those "Fun" Fridays. Already, we're heading towards the inevitable insanity that was to come. He and I stop by Adam's place, to chill and get our slack on. We grab a six-pack of Sierra to spark the early buzz and play eighty or so games of Tekken. Before we know it, 11PM is rolling by, and it is nearly time that the party is to start. And so the quandary becomes clear: Will Adam go to Cindy's party with us? OHSHIT, that would be CRAZY. For those not in the general know, Adam and Cindy were together for quite a bit a while back. I would not say they are on the best footing with one another. The possibility is considered, and Alex and I urge Adam to attend, with the most malicious of grins on us. Essentially, we thought we could at least score some shock-value, as in, "Holy shit, Adam is here!" Instead, I chose to forego the 'surprise' guest appearance of Adam, and minded the sentiments of Diana and Cindy. I give Dee a call, asking if I could speak to Cindy. Being the 'insider' that I am, I would use my standing as being good friends of both Diana and Cindy to work the situation to our advantage. Knowing that Cindy was questioning inviting Adam in the first place, I knew that she could not refuse, on this the day of her birthday. BIMBAM, she says yes, after hesitantly asking Diana if it's ok.
SCORE! I have just bought Adam a ticket into a party we knew would be crazy. It was the beginning of the semester, parties aren't exactly abundant around here, so anything we would come across was guaranteed to be unique in it's own way.
And so it was. Although I stopped at around "Round 2," I remember that the others got to at least "Round 5." Diana's balcony was once again home to the smokers of the party, which comprised of more than half the kids there. Roberta and her brother Eli were there, as well as Jen, Rob, Nick, and Pat. Jaime rolled with Ron, and Jasmine & Kiel were present as well. A friend or two of Diana's made late appearances, and Nolan came right after his shift ended at work. As usual, Eli provided the veteran experience of concocting drinks, while the rest of the kids lounged about getting increasingly inebriated with each passing hour. At the height of the festivities, almost half the people at this small kick-back were lit, and all but one person was at least buzzed. For a while, Nolan and Jen went AWOL in the direction of the swings, and five of us wandered out to the park looking for those same swings. Nick was the unofficial champion of liquor drinking, as I had not seen him stop once when it came to taking shots. Kiel was quite elevated, but his liquor consumption was fairly low that night, thankfully. Alex was hit pretty badly when it came to the liquor, as he had not drunken this much lately. It also didn't help that his Ms. B. declined his drunken offer to stop by the party. At the peak of the night's drunkeness, the DRAMA that I inadverdently caused had reached an inescapable crescendo. Adam and Cindy were faded at this time, and I had watched them engage in mild small talk, all the signs of amiable conversation. At this point, I spotted something that I knew would happen: they were re-enacting signs of lovey-dovey mushy shit, full-on cuddle/embrace mode. In my mind, the words OHSHITOHSHITOHSHIT recycled endlessly. Not many people put too much attention in this, since they were all caught up in their stupors, and what was I supposed to do? I played it cool, hoping that this would not escalate into very loud WHATHEFUCK's. Hell, I had warned Adam of this earlier, and tried to make the point clear. NO HANKYPANKY, this is a casual 'friend-zone' party! Alas, my fear had come to pass, and to top it, Diana walks past them on the couch, and is still coherent enough to finally see this and says with a surly, yet reprimanding voice, "Whats THIS?"
Shiiiiiiit.
All in all, there wasn't any major hitches, Alex didn't get into any fights as he had forewarned, thank heavens. The most concern I had to express over my compatriots was towards Pat, who kept asking people to slap him. He's an odd drunk. By the time 4am rolled by, I was reasonably clear-headed, and Ron was just as sober, as he had stopped drinking at the same round as me. Jaime gave me back my keys, since Ron and I entrusted our keys to him earlier in the night. Nick and Kiel played hockey on Diana's pool table, and unfortunately Dee was at the point that she was either up or out. She was out when they were playing hockey. Alex crashed on the round chair, only to awaken with Jen and Jasmine curled in the couch with him. Much to Pat and Kiel's encouragement/dismay. The party eventually filtered out, and I over-shot my initial plan of getting home by 3am. Oh well, that's the 'party' life. Hah.
Thursday, February 05, 2004
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
wed.feb.04. 5:04:50pm
Auditory therapy
It's been a while since I've been to a decent concert (Hieroglyphics being the last one I really went to), and it hasnt been since summer of 2002 that I actually went to a real rock concert (Warped Tour 2002). Radiostar playing at CRC doesn't really count. Ever since last summer, when I found out about bittorrent, I've sampled a ridiculously insane amount of music genres. A year ago, I wouldn't have half a fuckin clue that %90 of the music I've listened to since then even EXISTED, let alone played good music.
I don't mean to name-drop like OH-SO many "hipster" fucks like to do out in HXC, scenester "indy-land," but I think it's worth mentioning (at least to me, personally) all the bands and performers I've genuinely listened to and seriously enjoyed. And no, not the kind of "oh, I like these guys because it's what the cool kids listen to." Most of the band names the "cool kids" drop are usually lukewarm at best with me.
112
Possibly my most favored R&B group, they've come back after many years of nothing. A must-listen, considering they're GREAT sexin' music.
311
The very beginnings of all things rock for me. I first heard their debut album back in middle school, when a classmate let me borrow the CD. Seeing as how they've endured since I had my first listen, I just had to indulge myself and finally get their From Chaos album.
Aesop Rock
This man is smooth. The lyrical content, the flow patterns, the vocal delivery. One man wrecking crew of the hip-hop world. When he finally catches on with the rest of the deluded fuckers, I'll smile from ear-to-ear as mainstream is shown, "what's really good." Plus, he's white, so fuck Eminem, hahah.
Atmosphere
Another cool emcee, with more of an angsty edge about him. The only album I have of him, God Loves Ugly, deals a lot with romantic rejection and shit. Still pretty cool.
Belle & Sebastian
A scottish indy/folk rock band I keep reading about online. I decided to give them a try and downloaded a bundle of all their EPs combined. Not bad, not bad at all. The vibe coming from them is totally serene and holistic, and has a slight calming effect on me. Good enough!
Blackalicious
South Sac represent! Actually, I've known about these two for a while, it's just that I was able to get a hold of their A to Z EP recently. Gift of Gab is monstrously great.
The Blood Brothers
Gah, I actually have "Rey" to thank for once in my life. I mean, I respect him, but not hanging all over his nuts like the majority tends to do. But whatever, moving on! This band is crazy. Like some kind of primal scream music, where I'm enthralled for an unexplained reason. It's hard to find their music on the net, as I believe that their quite "underground" that rarely will anyone have a complete discography. Which explains why my compilation is highly incomplete. From what I've heard so far, Burn, Piano Island, Burn and March On! Electric Children rock me hard. "Siamese Gun," and "Cecilia and the Silhouette Saloon" are tracks I find myself singing to uncontrollably.
Brand New
Oh shit, this is THE band. Not quite "underground," not quite "mainstream," this is the sound that made me love punk rock again. Deja Entendu is a solid album, but it's Your Favorite Weapon that got me hooked. I'm just missing one song from their Safety In Numbers split LP. "Mix Tape" is actually starting to sound awesome to me lately.
The Clash
I suck, but they DEFINITELY do not. I think you deserve to kick me in the face for being a true punk-rock poseur by not having listened to The Clash earlier.
Cursive
I liked Domestica most, and generally a hodgepodge of selections from Ugly Organ, Storms of Early Summer, Such Blinding Stars for Starving Eyes, and Burst and Bloom. Have yet to fully hear The Disruption EP and the 8 Teeth to Eat You split LP. This Saddle Creek band has probably been the mainstay of my playlist ever since I caught on to them via Ryan of defuser, whereas I will generally burn a CD or send my iPod and wipe its presence from my hard drive. "The Night I Lost the Will to Fight" and "Art Is Hard" are particular favorites. I titled an English 301 essay after the song "The Game of Who Needs Who the Worst." Heh. I'm not particularly fond of their Saddle Creek counterpart, Bright Eyes, though. I don't really see what other people like about them. That voice, man, that voice. I'd rather listen to a bitch-made crooner like Chris Carraba than Conor Oberst. Personal pref, don't hate.
Dead Prez
I want to be a militant black panther because of their Let's Get Free album. Too late now, I should have bought this album years ago.
Death Cab For Cutie
Whoa. So I said I couldn't stand Bright Eyes' vocals, but somehow Death Cab's vocalist gets to me in a good way. Which explains why I dig The Postal Service as well. From their latest album, I like "Passenger Seat" most, for personal reaons.
Death Cab's other albums are really good as well, and I'm especially liking the sound of You Can Play These Songs With Chords!
The December Drive
Actually, they kind of suck. I like one track O.K., but the rest doesn't jibe well with me (yes, I said JIBE). Well, it's not as bad as listening to Against Me! and that new album As The Eternal Cowboy. That was weird, Jaime even attests to it. Unless I downloaded the wrong album...? But yeah, December Drive is pretty whack, but still a lesson in music sampling.
Deltron3030
I'm slow on music, and I hate myself for never grasping the greatness of this album. I need to upgrade my grey matter.
Electric Six
Where have you been all my life? These guys are crazy-badass. All their songs are highly danceable, like the disco version of Hot Hot Heat. VERY good. Their album Fire is the hotness to the max. I'm glad this kid, Devin, mentioned them. And I think they're playing at COACHELLA!$*#. HOTDAMN!*%@
God Speed You! Black Emperor
Another great blend of rock stylings and another music genre. Something like an experimental fusion of symphonic sound with that "indy" rock edge. And there's no vocals, so it's perfect soundtrack music for meditation and shit. GENIUS. There are more albums in their repertoire, but I was only able to listen to Yanqui U.X.O. I have no idea what the album title even means. I think Bobby recommended this band once. Danke!
GORILLAZ
Old school, I know, but I was finally able to listen to their whole album. M1-A1!
HIM
His Infernal Majesty, a cool Finnish rock band. They've got this hard rock sound to them, but in fact, their album Deep Shadows and Brilliant Highlights is really about sappy love. Which is good. Their symbol is the heartagram, a great perversion of the pentagram. Their kind of music is dubbed, "Love Metal." Hah, awesome. These guys are great, reminds me of 80's hair bands and their monster ballads.
Hot Hot Heat
HHH is RADNESS in a paper-bag. Retarded analogy aside, the band is great. The lead vocal, Steve Bays, rocks the keyboard like no ones business. "Talk To Me, Dance With Me," is the FUCKIN song. If I could, I would not hesitate to seduce "Ms. B" with this song. Alex knows who I'm referring to. This artista chick, Elysse caught me onto them, despite the fact I would have heard about them on the radio and tv anyway.
Incubus
I've been a more serious fan ever since their Morning View tour came to my town (and I scored two free tickets) and they rocked the fuck out of that arena. I never knew the intensity of "Circles" and "Privilege" could cause the pit to transform into a human wave of gyrating bodies. At the Pennywise show during Warped Tour 2001, I was literally lifted off the ground for a mere second or so, but during this concert I SWEAR I didnt feel the floor for at least 2 minutes. That was rad. I consider "Drive" to be one of my favorite songs ever. A Crow Left To The Murder is sounding really good, too, and I'm glad I was able to get it the night before it was officially released. A megalomaniac is one psychopathologically afflicted with delusions of grandeur and omnipotence.
Interpol
Another great band debuting with a major release album. I had heard of them before, but as usual, had no idea what their sound was like. Now that I've heard it, I love it. It's mellow with tracks like "Untitled and "NYC," but doesn't hesitate to break your neck with "Say Hello To Angels" and "Roland." They've been around the scene, but I was far too ignorant of the music in those days to have been able to embrace this.
Jay-Z
Greatest rapper alive, eh? The point can be argued until the Annunaki come, but the point that is irrefutable is that The Black Album is fucking grand. He pulled out all the stops and went out with the perfect bang. Aside from singles, "Change Clothes" and "The Threat," I truly dig "Lucifer" and "My Name Is Hov."
Ludacris
What happened, maaaannn? You were doing great with Back For The First Time and Word Of Mouf... and then you drop this? Aside from "Stand Up," the only other track that I would find worthy of bumpin in my g-ride is "Hip Hop Quotables." Chicken and Beer is a weak album, nowhere near the sheer bumpnitude of Word of Mouf. For shame.
Mad Capsule Markets
I will make a movie and use their music as the soundtrack to my action sequences. It's going to be instupituous.
The Mars Volta
More rock goodness. The boys of At The Drive In split and would later form two new bands, Spart and this. I remember when Alex first bought their latest CD, De-Loused In A Comatorium, and he bumped it pretty loud in his apartment when we got back. The feel of their sound was unmistakable, and I knew I had to fully enjoy this album sooner or later. Thanks to a trade of music CDs between Alex and I, I was able to swap Incubus' new album, The Postal Service, and The Strokes' Room On Fire for this CD, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs and a compilation cd called OM Lounge 8. Pretty fair fuckin trade. ROCK.
Muse
Another great find thanks to Elysse. At first, I thought, "Oh, another one of those bands," where I categorized them as some kind of indy rock band with lead vocals that sound whiny. After running through Absolution, I retracted that assumption, because to ASSUME is to make an ASS out of U and ME. Mostly me. I didn't hesitate to get a hold of their older albums, Showbiz and Origin of Symmetry when I had a chance.
OutKast
Ahhh shit. The fiery hotness, or rather, the ice coolness, of this duo is unmatched. THE BEST of southern stylistic cadillac playa rap, because it is more than evident that everything else sucks donkey balls (Ludacris exempt). Loved ATLiens; adored Stankonia; Speakerboxxx/The Love Below is the best double-CD delivery EVER. I want to one day do a rock cover of "Hey Ya!"
Phantom Planet
Just got a hold of this CD today, and it's sounding good to my ears. Not groundbreaking or anything, but it's still passes the test of buzzworthiness. Although I've never fully listened to their last one, The Guest; "California" was a well-received mainstream hit.
Placebo
One of the best bands to ever grace my humble ears. I have no idea how I heard about them, but I would thank whoever exposed me to this band endlessly if I could. After listening to them (as well as most of the other bands mentioned), I formally denounce The Used. Because they suck. Must find Black Market Music and their first, self-titled album. "Bulletproof Cupid" and "Second Sight" are the shit.
The Postal Service
If you've heard of them, then you should already know how great this collaborative duo are. If you haven't, you fucking better go to the goddamned record store and check this shit out. Think electronica, but with Death Cab For Cutie's vocals. Which it is. And it Rocks, capital "R." The beats are infectious, the vox permeates the groove, and voila, instant rock-your-face. "The District Sleeps Alone Tonight," "Such Great Heights" completely defines the validity of this albums ownage. The best part is that it's like listening to old school NES game music. Shitchyeah. Reminds me of Elkland, too. +++
The Strokes
FUCKFUCKFUCK. I <3 this band. Is This It? was great, Room On Fire expands on that same principle. I didn't even realize that I was jammin to this album a full month before it was even released. Thank you, bittorrent. The whole album is pure goldengoldengolden.
The Sex Pistols
More punk rock goodness. Between this and The Clash, I feel like laying waste to my previous punk rock musical tastes. Fuck Blink182, Sum41, Allister, The Starting Line, A Simple Plan, Good Charlotte, etc.
The White Stripes
Elephant is a rad album. The music is catchy, the lyrics engaging, and the overall vibe is great. The cool thing is that I can easily learn just about any song on that album, since it's so simple and effective. I've got "Seven Nation Army" and "The Hardest Button To Button" nearly understood, ready to rock & roll.
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Another big thanks to Alex for letting me borrow this CD. Just by listening to their latest album, Fever To Tell, I can already say that I like this band a lot. Like other punk bands out there with female lead vocalists, this band does not dissappoint. They make me miss the good old days of Tsunami Bomb and Lucky Strike.
Hopefully, I'll be able to fully sample the sounds of Every Time I Die, Story Of The Year (maybe), The Pixies (I better!), The Shins, Boys Night Out, Aceyalone, Snow Patrol, The Darkness, Ladytron, and whatever albums or bands I've already mentioned.
Auditory therapy
It's been a while since I've been to a decent concert (Hieroglyphics being the last one I really went to), and it hasnt been since summer of 2002 that I actually went to a real rock concert (Warped Tour 2002). Radiostar playing at CRC doesn't really count. Ever since last summer, when I found out about bittorrent, I've sampled a ridiculously insane amount of music genres. A year ago, I wouldn't have half a fuckin clue that %90 of the music I've listened to since then even EXISTED, let alone played good music.
I don't mean to name-drop like OH-SO many "hipster" fucks like to do out in HXC, scenester "indy-land," but I think it's worth mentioning (at least to me, personally) all the bands and performers I've genuinely listened to and seriously enjoyed. And no, not the kind of "oh, I like these guys because it's what the cool kids listen to." Most of the band names the "cool kids" drop are usually lukewarm at best with me.
112
Possibly my most favored R&B group, they've come back after many years of nothing. A must-listen, considering they're GREAT sexin' music.
311
The very beginnings of all things rock for me. I first heard their debut album back in middle school, when a classmate let me borrow the CD. Seeing as how they've endured since I had my first listen, I just had to indulge myself and finally get their From Chaos album.
Aesop Rock
This man is smooth. The lyrical content, the flow patterns, the vocal delivery. One man wrecking crew of the hip-hop world. When he finally catches on with the rest of the deluded fuckers, I'll smile from ear-to-ear as mainstream is shown, "what's really good." Plus, he's white, so fuck Eminem, hahah.
Atmosphere
Another cool emcee, with more of an angsty edge about him. The only album I have of him, God Loves Ugly, deals a lot with romantic rejection and shit. Still pretty cool.
Belle & Sebastian
A scottish indy/folk rock band I keep reading about online. I decided to give them a try and downloaded a bundle of all their EPs combined. Not bad, not bad at all. The vibe coming from them is totally serene and holistic, and has a slight calming effect on me. Good enough!
Blackalicious
South Sac represent! Actually, I've known about these two for a while, it's just that I was able to get a hold of their A to Z EP recently. Gift of Gab is monstrously great.
The Blood Brothers
Gah, I actually have "Rey" to thank for once in my life. I mean, I respect him, but not hanging all over his nuts like the majority tends to do. But whatever, moving on! This band is crazy. Like some kind of primal scream music, where I'm enthralled for an unexplained reason. It's hard to find their music on the net, as I believe that their quite "underground" that rarely will anyone have a complete discography. Which explains why my compilation is highly incomplete. From what I've heard so far, Burn, Piano Island, Burn and March On! Electric Children rock me hard. "Siamese Gun," and "Cecilia and the Silhouette Saloon" are tracks I find myself singing to uncontrollably.
Brand New
Oh shit, this is THE band. Not quite "underground," not quite "mainstream," this is the sound that made me love punk rock again. Deja Entendu is a solid album, but it's Your Favorite Weapon that got me hooked. I'm just missing one song from their Safety In Numbers split LP. "Mix Tape" is actually starting to sound awesome to me lately.
The Clash
I suck, but they DEFINITELY do not. I think you deserve to kick me in the face for being a true punk-rock poseur by not having listened to The Clash earlier.
Cursive
I liked Domestica most, and generally a hodgepodge of selections from Ugly Organ, Storms of Early Summer, Such Blinding Stars for Starving Eyes, and Burst and Bloom. Have yet to fully hear The Disruption EP and the 8 Teeth to Eat You split LP. This Saddle Creek band has probably been the mainstay of my playlist ever since I caught on to them via Ryan of defuser, whereas I will generally burn a CD or send my iPod and wipe its presence from my hard drive. "The Night I Lost the Will to Fight" and "Art Is Hard" are particular favorites. I titled an English 301 essay after the song "The Game of Who Needs Who the Worst." Heh. I'm not particularly fond of their Saddle Creek counterpart, Bright Eyes, though. I don't really see what other people like about them. That voice, man, that voice. I'd rather listen to a bitch-made crooner like Chris Carraba than Conor Oberst. Personal pref, don't hate.
Dead Prez
I want to be a militant black panther because of their Let's Get Free album. Too late now, I should have bought this album years ago.
Death Cab For Cutie
Whoa. So I said I couldn't stand Bright Eyes' vocals, but somehow Death Cab's vocalist gets to me in a good way. Which explains why I dig The Postal Service as well. From their latest album, I like "Passenger Seat" most, for personal reaons.
Death Cab's other albums are really good as well, and I'm especially liking the sound of You Can Play These Songs With Chords!
The December Drive
Actually, they kind of suck. I like one track O.K., but the rest doesn't jibe well with me (yes, I said JIBE). Well, it's not as bad as listening to Against Me! and that new album As The Eternal Cowboy. That was weird, Jaime even attests to it. Unless I downloaded the wrong album...? But yeah, December Drive is pretty whack, but still a lesson in music sampling.
Deltron3030
I'm slow on music, and I hate myself for never grasping the greatness of this album. I need to upgrade my grey matter.
Electric Six
Where have you been all my life? These guys are crazy-badass. All their songs are highly danceable, like the disco version of Hot Hot Heat. VERY good. Their album Fire is the hotness to the max. I'm glad this kid, Devin, mentioned them. And I think they're playing at COACHELLA!$*#. HOTDAMN!*%@
God Speed You! Black Emperor
Another great blend of rock stylings and another music genre. Something like an experimental fusion of symphonic sound with that "indy" rock edge. And there's no vocals, so it's perfect soundtrack music for meditation and shit. GENIUS. There are more albums in their repertoire, but I was only able to listen to Yanqui U.X.O. I have no idea what the album title even means. I think Bobby recommended this band once. Danke!
GORILLAZ
Old school, I know, but I was finally able to listen to their whole album. M1-A1!
HIM
His Infernal Majesty, a cool Finnish rock band. They've got this hard rock sound to them, but in fact, their album Deep Shadows and Brilliant Highlights is really about sappy love. Which is good. Their symbol is the heartagram, a great perversion of the pentagram. Their kind of music is dubbed, "Love Metal." Hah, awesome. These guys are great, reminds me of 80's hair bands and their monster ballads.
Hot Hot Heat
HHH is RADNESS in a paper-bag. Retarded analogy aside, the band is great. The lead vocal, Steve Bays, rocks the keyboard like no ones business. "Talk To Me, Dance With Me," is the FUCKIN song. If I could, I would not hesitate to seduce "Ms. B" with this song. Alex knows who I'm referring to. This artista chick, Elysse caught me onto them, despite the fact I would have heard about them on the radio and tv anyway.
Incubus
I've been a more serious fan ever since their Morning View tour came to my town (and I scored two free tickets) and they rocked the fuck out of that arena. I never knew the intensity of "Circles" and "Privilege" could cause the pit to transform into a human wave of gyrating bodies. At the Pennywise show during Warped Tour 2001, I was literally lifted off the ground for a mere second or so, but during this concert I SWEAR I didnt feel the floor for at least 2 minutes. That was rad. I consider "Drive" to be one of my favorite songs ever. A Crow Left To The Murder is sounding really good, too, and I'm glad I was able to get it the night before it was officially released. A megalomaniac is one psychopathologically afflicted with delusions of grandeur and omnipotence.
Interpol
Another great band debuting with a major release album. I had heard of them before, but as usual, had no idea what their sound was like. Now that I've heard it, I love it. It's mellow with tracks like "Untitled and "NYC," but doesn't hesitate to break your neck with "Say Hello To Angels" and "Roland." They've been around the scene, but I was far too ignorant of the music in those days to have been able to embrace this.
Jay-Z
Greatest rapper alive, eh? The point can be argued until the Annunaki come, but the point that is irrefutable is that The Black Album is fucking grand. He pulled out all the stops and went out with the perfect bang. Aside from singles, "Change Clothes" and "The Threat," I truly dig "Lucifer" and "My Name Is Hov."
Ludacris
What happened, maaaannn? You were doing great with Back For The First Time and Word Of Mouf... and then you drop this? Aside from "Stand Up," the only other track that I would find worthy of bumpin in my g-ride is "Hip Hop Quotables." Chicken and Beer is a weak album, nowhere near the sheer bumpnitude of Word of Mouf. For shame.
Mad Capsule Markets
I will make a movie and use their music as the soundtrack to my action sequences. It's going to be instupituous.
The Mars Volta
More rock goodness. The boys of At The Drive In split and would later form two new bands, Spart and this. I remember when Alex first bought their latest CD, De-Loused In A Comatorium, and he bumped it pretty loud in his apartment when we got back. The feel of their sound was unmistakable, and I knew I had to fully enjoy this album sooner or later. Thanks to a trade of music CDs between Alex and I, I was able to swap Incubus' new album, The Postal Service, and The Strokes' Room On Fire for this CD, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs and a compilation cd called OM Lounge 8. Pretty fair fuckin trade. ROCK.
Muse
Another great find thanks to Elysse. At first, I thought, "Oh, another one of those bands," where I categorized them as some kind of indy rock band with lead vocals that sound whiny. After running through Absolution, I retracted that assumption, because to ASSUME is to make an ASS out of U and ME. Mostly me. I didn't hesitate to get a hold of their older albums, Showbiz and Origin of Symmetry when I had a chance.
OutKast
Ahhh shit. The fiery hotness, or rather, the ice coolness, of this duo is unmatched. THE BEST of southern stylistic cadillac playa rap, because it is more than evident that everything else sucks donkey balls (Ludacris exempt). Loved ATLiens; adored Stankonia; Speakerboxxx/The Love Below is the best double-CD delivery EVER. I want to one day do a rock cover of "Hey Ya!"
Phantom Planet
Just got a hold of this CD today, and it's sounding good to my ears. Not groundbreaking or anything, but it's still passes the test of buzzworthiness. Although I've never fully listened to their last one, The Guest; "California" was a well-received mainstream hit.
Placebo
One of the best bands to ever grace my humble ears. I have no idea how I heard about them, but I would thank whoever exposed me to this band endlessly if I could. After listening to them (as well as most of the other bands mentioned), I formally denounce The Used. Because they suck. Must find Black Market Music and their first, self-titled album. "Bulletproof Cupid" and "Second Sight" are the shit.
The Postal Service
If you've heard of them, then you should already know how great this collaborative duo are. If you haven't, you fucking better go to the goddamned record store and check this shit out. Think electronica, but with Death Cab For Cutie's vocals. Which it is. And it Rocks, capital "R." The beats are infectious, the vox permeates the groove, and voila, instant rock-your-face. "The District Sleeps Alone Tonight," "Such Great Heights" completely defines the validity of this albums ownage. The best part is that it's like listening to old school NES game music. Shitchyeah. Reminds me of Elkland, too. +++
The Strokes
FUCKFUCKFUCK. I <3 this band. Is This It? was great, Room On Fire expands on that same principle. I didn't even realize that I was jammin to this album a full month before it was even released. Thank you, bittorrent. The whole album is pure goldengoldengolden.
The Sex Pistols
More punk rock goodness. Between this and The Clash, I feel like laying waste to my previous punk rock musical tastes. Fuck Blink182, Sum41, Allister, The Starting Line, A Simple Plan, Good Charlotte, etc.
The White Stripes
Elephant is a rad album. The music is catchy, the lyrics engaging, and the overall vibe is great. The cool thing is that I can easily learn just about any song on that album, since it's so simple and effective. I've got "Seven Nation Army" and "The Hardest Button To Button" nearly understood, ready to rock & roll.
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Another big thanks to Alex for letting me borrow this CD. Just by listening to their latest album, Fever To Tell, I can already say that I like this band a lot. Like other punk bands out there with female lead vocalists, this band does not dissappoint. They make me miss the good old days of Tsunami Bomb and Lucky Strike.
Hopefully, I'll be able to fully sample the sounds of Every Time I Die, Story Of The Year (maybe), The Pixies (I better!), The Shins, Boys Night Out, Aceyalone, Snow Patrol, The Darkness, Ladytron, and whatever albums or bands I've already mentioned.
Prepostericity prolongated
Fortunately, no more random calls came in today, and ESPECIALLY not from Claudia, thank the deities. Instead, the night degenerated into something of a replay of the other Friday, where we were in desperate need of something fun to do. The "KidD" dropped by eventually, and we chilled like it was 93 til as usual. The usual rabble and conversation were juggled, from the eternal struggles of man with womankind to postulating future events to be experienced. The looming shadow of SDCC is starting to envelop our mind states.
After a visit to Borders, we searched out and kidnapped Jaime as he was walking home. We dropped by Hollywood video to see old boy Nolan. Renee was there, which was another random appearance of unexpected people into my day. Jaime rented some obscure movies, and we proceeded over to the Taco Bell nearby for some grub after some intense deliberation. The night was capped by a routine visit to Jen's house, where Rob, Nick, and Pat were hanging out waiting for Jen to get home.
All in all, this ridiculously "random" day of odd phone calls actually transformed into the same kind of nights we had back in the summer: cruise around, hang out at Jen's.
You can say it was a 'respark' of days past in days present. Hot shit.
postscript: I'm highly incensed now by the prospect of going to Coachella in May and the Atmosphere/Eyedea concert this Friday. ROCK!
postPOSTscript: Not to mention going to this rave/party being thrown by my friend Nick called Squareone on Ryan's birthday. ROLL!
Fortunately, no more random calls came in today, and ESPECIALLY not from Claudia, thank the deities. Instead, the night degenerated into something of a replay of the other Friday, where we were in desperate need of something fun to do. The "KidD" dropped by eventually, and we chilled like it was 93 til as usual. The usual rabble and conversation were juggled, from the eternal struggles of man with womankind to postulating future events to be experienced. The looming shadow of SDCC is starting to envelop our mind states.
After a visit to Borders, we searched out and kidnapped Jaime as he was walking home. We dropped by Hollywood video to see old boy Nolan. Renee was there, which was another random appearance of unexpected people into my day. Jaime rented some obscure movies, and we proceeded over to the Taco Bell nearby for some grub after some intense deliberation. The night was capped by a routine visit to Jen's house, where Rob, Nick, and Pat were hanging out waiting for Jen to get home.
All in all, this ridiculously "random" day of odd phone calls actually transformed into the same kind of nights we had back in the summer: cruise around, hang out at Jen's.
You can say it was a 'respark' of days past in days present. Hot shit.
postscript: I'm highly incensed now by the prospect of going to Coachella in May and the Atmosphere/Eyedea concert this Friday. ROCK!
postPOSTscript: Not to mention going to this rave/party being thrown by my friend Nick called Squareone on Ryan's birthday. ROLL!
Tuesday, February 03, 2004
Prepostericity
This is unprecedented. I've gotten an unexpected amount of calls today, from sources that are the least likely to ever call me for anything important. For one, Jaime called me this morning around 11am, because I had left an away message up after I got back from dropping off the little sister to school. It said something about waking me up at 10am, and obviously Jaime failed at the task, but he at least tried. I was finally awake enough to get out of bed thanks to him, and headed to school a bit late.
After class, I checked my phone to see that I had a missed call during class. Usually, I could expect a call from Cheryl over something trivial but THIS was something else entirely. It was a missed call from Diana... I called her up, and we had a short catch-up conversation while I drove back home to grab something. After my last class, I dropped by her place to give her a copy of Incubus' new cd "A Crow Left To The Murder" and hung out with her for a couple of minutes.
Later, my cousin Geno called me up to tell me he's dropping by to borrow my guitar class textbook, and probably roll out with him to the Guitar Center.
Then, Alex the Kidd gives a random call to me, asking to kick-it.
Hot damn, is this "Get Social" Tuesday or something? Geeze, my week is barely half-way over, whats with everyone wanting to chill so suddenly?
Feh, what next, a call from Claudia? As if I didn't earn that surprise during the cabin trip, hah.
This is unprecedented. I've gotten an unexpected amount of calls today, from sources that are the least likely to ever call me for anything important. For one, Jaime called me this morning around 11am, because I had left an away message up after I got back from dropping off the little sister to school. It said something about waking me up at 10am, and obviously Jaime failed at the task, but he at least tried. I was finally awake enough to get out of bed thanks to him, and headed to school a bit late.
After class, I checked my phone to see that I had a missed call during class. Usually, I could expect a call from Cheryl over something trivial but THIS was something else entirely. It was a missed call from Diana... I called her up, and we had a short catch-up conversation while I drove back home to grab something. After my last class, I dropped by her place to give her a copy of Incubus' new cd "A Crow Left To The Murder" and hung out with her for a couple of minutes.
Later, my cousin Geno called me up to tell me he's dropping by to borrow my guitar class textbook, and probably roll out with him to the Guitar Center.
Then, Alex the Kidd gives a random call to me, asking to kick-it.
Hot damn, is this "Get Social" Tuesday or something? Geeze, my week is barely half-way over, whats with everyone wanting to chill so suddenly?
Feh, what next, a call from Claudia? As if I didn't earn that surprise during the cabin trip, hah.