Friday, April 18, 2003

found out today that my ex-girlfriend is engaged. shes not even 18 yet (damn, that doesn't make me look too good, now does it). i feel so inadequate now. i mean, if i had held onto her hard enough (i have the horrible tendency to give up on girls if things don't go my way), maybe it could have been me proposing to her. but then again, i remember that i base some of my dating philosophy on the "tomcat" ideology: date as many girls, and don't let any of them settle you down. yes, now i feel better about myself. if she believes he's the one and is truly ready for this kind of a commitment, then doggonit, go for it. i never let past feelings deter my current choices in life. i don't want to jinx anything, but i don't foresee it lasting. nothing against them, but damn, marriage? all kinds of things can happen at this stage of life that such a choice can easily fall apart and leave you more than just heartbroken. eh.
on a lighter note, my relatives are moving in with us until their house gets built. we owe it to them to open our home to them, since they did the same for us when we first moved to Sacramento. it'll be cool rooming with my cousin Dobhie. as long as he's not a snorer. maybe it'll bring our families closer together, just like back when we were younger. in the years since the early 90's we all grew apart into our separate paths in life. JR to filmography, Dobhie into DJ'ing, Fred into working, Geno into the cool guy, Alan into the pimp, Bryan into the geek, me into arts, and everyone just growing apart. sure, we'd get together and kick it (although i missed out on a lot of that), but we were of differing thoughts and minds. seems like everything is coming full circle though, as we've all grown up, and those childhood dreams are becoming reality for some. just wished life could be simpler. maybe when we're all settled, we can have frequent get-togethers and just hang out like adults. that'd rock. can't wait to live out the rest of my life in comfortable security. enough of this CHANGE bullshit.

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