Monday, February 03, 2003

Firstly, let me reiterate what I publicly proclaimed this past week: Thank God for Pornography.
Now, don’t go forming some kind of impression of me, until I’ve explained my reasoning.
After a weekend-long marathon of porn, thanks to hijacked high-speed internet, I’ve come to the apt conclusion that porn is a tonic for the soul. The way I see it, I’d rather have a sociopathic psychopath give in to his hand rather than a more violent form of self-expression. Of course, it is naive to believe that porn can be a cure-all for human behavior, since it is, in fact, a part of human nature that most Christian ideal’s scorn. Bah, is what I say to religious values. Of course, throw any predispostions based on Catholic standards right out of the window, especially in a world like ours. But that is a subject for another time.
If we were to just hand certain terrorists a hi-definition digital television, home theater surround sound system, and plenty of porn, why, I believe we’ve just tapped into their human vulnerability and quite possibly delayed/averted another embassy bombing. Hell, you know some terrorists could use a visual helping of Brianna Banks deepthroating. I’m quite sure they would benefit from it, after being cooped up with other men in a cave for so long. Unless they were homosexual...
I understand that the pornography is an evil industry, manipulating its constituents and consumers, but what billion-dollar corporation is devoid of immorality? McDonalds you say? What kind of malicious conglomerate reduces the size of their Big Mac™ patties to the size of hamburger pattiess?! That is pure sadism, people!
I digress, because this porn industry is as bad as they come. But without it, our society would more or less evolve into a drab utopia or self-contained community, where law and values are placed higher than human emotions. I would prefer that porn flourish, as well as other kinds of primal entertainment (contact sports, violent television, etc.) as a vent for frustrations. You never know when your utopia’s average blue-collar civilian goes insane for a brief moment and guns down his fellow employees. We pretty much need most forms of pornography, save the extreme kind (child porn, bondage, etc.).
As a disclaimer, pornography should in no way be applied to real life, only as a form of release for our carnal desires. I highly advise against attempting any of the retarded lines that the long-haired adult film star recites. It is a poor attempt at acting at best. Note how they are generally referred to as “adult film star”, as opposed to “porn actor/actress” because they are the worst actors/actresses you can find.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m no supporter of pornography, nor do I deny that I watch it. At times, it is a tool to keep me grounded. Other times it is just pointless to watch. My willpower is strong enough to go without such trivial aspects of life, but I can’t avoid my human nature to watch complete strangers go at it like Bonobo monkeys.

Aside from this diatribe I've just logged, the world is hurtling towards war. I could care less, since Death is a universal constant, and will claim lives with or without the help of his fellow comrade of the Apocalypse, War. Actually, I wouldn't mind a war, even if I were an 'unfortunate' casualty of it. War will just thin out some of the world's population; always an exciting prospect. With Death so near to all of us, I can't help but think, "What would Ron Jeremy do?" Shag as many women as possible. Now THAT is an uplifting idea in such a somber time.

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