...something like karma

I have a theory. Well, I have many odd perspectives about the reality I am experiencing.
There is a feeling within my electrorganic pattern that would like to know WHY my actions seemingly result the way they do. Something like karma seems to fit the esoteric formula of my maelstrom existence. And then ideas of divergent choices and infinite probabilities of free will clash with this gravity-addicted, pseudo-linear lifetime. I have almost convinced myself that in the previous state of energy + sentience I had nearly or triumphantly achieved a score of zero/neutral karma, plus or minus four points. I must have been a canine or other benign organism, perhaps even a successful series of harmless objects. And then I was back in the parasitic human form. As a being faced with repercussive actions, I initially heeded the cliche moral fabric that bound the Westernized world I live in. Nature and nurture worked its irrevocable magic, returning the cosmic moral record to a lethal spiritual spiral. I was selfless in my selfishness, giving myself to the inconsequence of hedonism. I consumed as a voracious creature should. I hit walls and depths and abstracts of dimensionality that surely treaded lines and gradients that I am not even sure what side I have arrived in now. So the hypothesis appears in this way: I can only destroy any future opportunity of redemption or exaltation; if I am bound to a scale of worth, then the scale can cease to function properly.