I've lost a lot of faith in most people.
Which only strengthens my resolve to segregate myself from everyone else. Just about everything about socializing has lost appeal, and I find little use to do so now. I've always been a solo mind wandering around, even when I had this great group of friends called sQuiD, and even back in the days when it was just me, Jon, Kris, and Eeron kicking it. Now the fact that I am, and probably always will be, alone is becoming more apparent. I'm beginning to think there's no use in keeping friends when it's more than likely they'll let you down. And then whats the use of being able to rely on someone if you know they'll disregard you. Too many times have I felt unimportant when I've tried my damnedest to be a reliable person. Sometimes I am clearly at the center of things, but I still feel like I'm on the outside looking in. I am no one.
This sounds like a really bad rant I once wrote.
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Sunday, March 13, 2005
Well, damn.
It's been a minute since I last logged in. Considering a lot of shit has gone down since I last recorded my thoughts here, I have some explaining to do.
So first, the kickback. My family left me at home while they went off to San Diego. I rounded up as many of my close friends together to hang out at my house on Saturday. They brought the grill, and Rob (for the majority of the time) barbecqued chicken and hamburgers. We threw back beers, and smoked cigs and blunts in the backyard, frontyard, and garage. The night was capped with some more beer and plenty of gamecube participation. Sunday was more of the same, but other than barbecqueing, we deepfried fish sticks and fries. More gaming. It was good.
Then my family came back on Monday night to a somewhat dirty house. That was pretty bad.
I've been playing way too much Def Jam: Fight for NY lately. That's bad, too.
I finished one page of my comic. One out of 9. With only a week or two left before our deadline. Thats REALLY bad.
Started work with FTB again. That's just all around bad. But money is involved, so its OK.
There's something immense weighing on my mind. Emo magnitude. That's plain UGLY.
It's been a minute since I last logged in. Considering a lot of shit has gone down since I last recorded my thoughts here, I have some explaining to do.
So first, the kickback. My family left me at home while they went off to San Diego. I rounded up as many of my close friends together to hang out at my house on Saturday. They brought the grill, and Rob (for the majority of the time) barbecqued chicken and hamburgers. We threw back beers, and smoked cigs and blunts in the backyard, frontyard, and garage. The night was capped with some more beer and plenty of gamecube participation. Sunday was more of the same, but other than barbecqueing, we deepfried fish sticks and fries. More gaming. It was good.
Then my family came back on Monday night to a somewhat dirty house. That was pretty bad.
I've been playing way too much Def Jam: Fight for NY lately. That's bad, too.
I finished one page of my comic. One out of 9. With only a week or two left before our deadline. Thats REALLY bad.
Started work with FTB again. That's just all around bad. But money is involved, so its OK.
There's something immense weighing on my mind. Emo magnitude. That's plain UGLY.