Damn. after reading the this blog's backlogs...i long for those days past. i actually had a measure of happiness then. so naive and stupid. bah. and after watchin Time Machine the other day, i want to physically change the past. but then again, the short lesson taught in that movie is that some things are meant to happen, and cannot be undone. damnitt. so whether or not i could change certain events in my life, it would be for naught, as H.G. Wells teaches. Like it or not, Carol will appear in my life, Claudia will never leave my thoughts, and i will always screw up in one way or another. it is fate.
the only way to end this current cycle...is to end it prematurely.

ok, i take it back. i wont disappear for a while, but i'm sure as hell not going to go out of my way to be social. every phone call ignored, every text message unanswered. instant messages and emails...maybe. bah.

fuck. fuck this. i'm going to disappear for a while, and probably won't emerge from hiding for a good while. i'm getting tired of trying to be social.